My (33M) GF (32F) and I have been together for 2 years now and have a deep loving relationship. I’ve recently discovered many messages from a sugarbaby website and her camming profile w. nudes which is still up but inactive. We’ve had a few deep conversations and I’ve known some details of this past life of hers but she has left a lot out/ lied (I now know) despite my direct questioning. I’ve also asked her to clean up her online footprint many months ago but no actions have ever been taken. Is this somthing I bring up or just forget about?
21 comments
Nah don’t let it go by. This affects your life too. So, try to understand her motive of keeping her nudes still. It can be that she’s being adamant to not listen to you (Like why would I listen to someone about my life). Also it can be that she enjoys showing herself.
Good luck
Whats her profile…for research purposes.
well i mean if she doesn’t,then i would bring it up
INFO: how did you find these profiles?
Why is she lying to you? I would ask for an explanation on that. If she was embarrassed, she’d surely want to remove the content. The only reason I can think it’s still up is she’s either still doing it actively or she is intending to do so at some point in the future.
Are you planning on having a longterm relationship with her? What about children? If so how would you feel about your kids knowing this? How would you feel if your family found out about this? I think these are all good reasons to tell her that removing the content is required if she wants to be with you.
Don’t waste time talking about this any further, just break up with her and move on with your life.
You’re allowed to hold whatever standards you like for the people you date. Not that you can change them but that you can (of course) end the relationship. It’s not necessarily puritanical to not want to date a former sex worker. But beyond that, if she’s got a sordid past online for all to see it would definitely at some point affect her ability to thrive in whatever her chosen career is now. This would affect your finances if you ever married her. So if she’s no longer relying on this “online footprint” to get clients for her “sugarbaby” activities (something you couldn’t possibly know) then it’s fair to walk away if she won’t tidy up her online persona.
I couldn’t date a hooker, especially one with public verification of it, but to each their own I guess
Nope this is nothing more than prostitution in my opinion with a fancier name.
Your future kids would probably find that too. If that is a concern for you.
She keeping them up on purpose. Just incase you guys break up and she wants to go back to it later. Or she thinks leaving it up she might get discovered by a rich guy and hit a jackpot
And when you tell her about it she’ll tell you she forgot about them/forgot the password etc
And if you say you’ll just file a report for the site to take it down she’ll throw a fit and ask why is it that important etc
You can set any boundaries, standards and deal breakers you choose. She can either respect them or you can leave.
Why are you creeping on her? This was something that she shared with you … she’d be the same person had she never told you… you need to move on. Her past is actually none of your business… outside of health and safety… you’re not owed any answers or action of online footprints being cleaned up. Check yourself … really. I’d rather focus on a deep loving relationship in the present than the past of somebody I get to know, and love now.
What’s your excuse to stay in relationship?
You plan a future with sugarbaby and expect respect
What exactly is the big deal and why do you care so much, also why are you stalking her online presence
I think its worth a conversation mate. If this is someone you are in a relationship with and see it going the long term its worth pointing out things that bother you.. If she brings up something that you did that bothered her you should address it and try to change if its for the better, and vice versa.
You are both adults and I think you can ask her (again) about her online presence. If the online stuff is a deal breaker for you, then let her know.
None of us, even you, may know the reasons she chose to be a sugarbaby. She could have issues about financial security and men or family leaving her so she keeps that presence online as a fallback option.
Just talk to her.
That’s great. If you have kids this will go really well!
You found out about this and didn’t immediately leave her…why?
You know she had a life before you right??
I would just establish a boundary that her not deleting the old content is a dealbreaker because of potential interference with future plans, jobs, kids, etc. I don’t think there’s a ton of point in breaking up over it because when I was in undergrad, it was really rare to meet a girl who was not and had not ever had an SA account. It’s just that usually girls clean all of that stuff up and never mention a word of it when they’re ready to find someone to marry them. If you guys have a great relationship outside of it, I wouldn’t go throwing it away because you’ll likely end up with another (especially if the next is younger).