What do I do when my friends don’t like another friend, but I do?

My (25F) friend group of 7 years dislikes one of its members and no longer wants to invite her (25F) to events.

I can understand why. This friend often has a harsh way of speaking, which rubs people the wrong way. I admitted to my friends that I’ve felt hurt by the way this one friend of ours talks as well.

But no one else in the group communicates to this person that the way she speaks is hurting them. They dance around the subject and never say how they feel outright. They think communication is confrontation, or a fight. They’ll complain behind her back but never say anything to her face. They think that acting this way is “keeping the peace”.

I’m often the mediator for bigger arguments, when things eventually blow up, and I’m left with an understanding between the two sides. Most of the time, no one is in the wrong. They just have different ways of viewing situations, can’t communicate that properly, and interpret things in wildly different ways.

The majority of the group also complains that they have nothing in common with this one friend (they do, which confuses me). Meanwhile, I have overlapping interests with everyone in the group. I share interests with this one friend that other people in the group don’t care to hear about. Just as how the majority wants to have conversations with like-minded people, so do I.

I understand and respect the boundaries that the others in the group have set for themselves. If they don’t want to invite this person to events, I won’t tell her about them. But I don’t want to cut this one friend off in my personal life.

I just hate feeling like I have to sneak around to visit her. I hate the feeling of having to lie about gatherings that she wasn’t invited to. I hate being between two sides. I hate talking behind peoples backs. I’m pissed at all of them. I want to scream and tell them to communicate with this friend like adults.

But I can’t make them communicate when they refuse to. I can’t make everyone like each other. I still want to hang out with both sets of people, since they add value to my life in different ways. But I’m worried that the majority of the group will end up resenting me if I stay close to her.

I want to talk about this with my friends. But I’m afraid that they won’t actually tell me how they feel, since they never communicate properly. Another part of me just wants to do whatever feels right, and not justify my actions to them.

TLDR: My friends no longer want to involve one of our mutual friends in events, but I still want to hang out with her on my own time, and I’m afraid of the tension it will cause.