Let me preface this—I would NEVER cheat. But I’m at the point in my relationship where I know it’s over, but we physically can’t separate due to personal issues.

But anyways. For well over a year my boyfriend has been the biggest asshole to me. Treating me like his slave, having me do literally everything for him and never giving me one shred of gratitude. I don’t remember the last time he’s made me cum during sex, he makes me go on top every single fucking time and do alllll of the work (which is fine but I can’t cum when I’m riding🥲) and it’s KILLING MEEE.

Im sorry like I don’t want to be dramatic but I’m a super sexual person like I fucking loved sex, but now it feels like a chore that I get practically nothing out of. My boyfriend doesn’t even touch me, doesn’t kiss me, doesn’t put one ounce of effort into sex and it just fucking sucks.

I work in a field with a lot of men, all of which are far far older than me and I would never in a million years do anything out of line because I love my job—but I can’t help but think about how it would feel to be fucked by someone who genuinely appreciates your body. Appreciates you as an individual. Who shows you that they are physically enjoying themselves.

This one guy at my work always calls me his sunshine and his ‘flower’ and it’s not in a weird or creepy way at all because he’s a wonderful guy but I can’t fucking stop myself from imagining how passionately he must fuck💀.

idk if that’s weird but I’m so sorry I’m going insane at this point. Am I a fucking weirdo? Is something wrong with me? I just😭

33 comments

  1. Sounds natural to me. You long for what you are not getting. It sounds like you need to find a way out of the relationship if you don’t feel like it is salvageable. The perfect time to leave will never come.

  4. You need to get the fuck out of there. You say you have reasons to stay but I guarantee you that’s just some codependence talking and the fog will clear as soon as you are free. Seriously, get the fuck out! Don’t waste another minute. There are many, many people who will value you more than he does

  5. Next relationship make sure you set the expectation that your boundaries, needs and happiness matter too, from the get go. You have to be willing to advocate on behalf of yourself, you can’t put all that on one person.

    I’m not saying just be selfish, but if someone is being a bad lover, communicate work on it and bounce if they don’t get it and respect those boundaries.

  8. He’s not the one for you. My honest advice…get out now before it’s too late.
    It certainly won’t get better.

  9. I say leave or you’ll end up cheating. Been there done that. I did offer the idea of an open relationship to my partner tho!

  10. Let’s start with the basics. Have you communicated with him about all of this first?

    He might think you like all of this if you haven’t…

    Fruit for thought

  11. Stop having sex with him please. Break up. You can break up even if you can’t separate yet. Break up and start making new arrangements. Then you can sleep with other people and it’s not cheating

  13. I’m so confused by this. Your boyfriend has been treating you like shit for a year, but you would never ever cheat?

    Why? You’re afraid of disrespecting the relationship?

    You’re making clear there is no relationship.

    For some reason you can’t get out of this relationship.

    What exactly do you want?

    “Here’s this problem to which I refuse all solutions, help me solve”

  17. Hard to answer this without knowing why you and he cannot separate. You clearly should leave him, and you aren’t. Your next steps depends on what’s holding you back from doing that.

  18. >Am I a fucking weirdo? Is something wrong with me? I just😭

    No, you’re not. You’re sexually neglected, frustrated, and starved of love, attention, and affection. The course of action is saving up so you can end this relationship ASAP.

    You’re not obligated to be his “slave,” keep doing everything for him, or even have sex with him if he’s only using you for his selfish reasons and his satisfaction. If you know in your heart of hearts that your relationship is over, then you need to find the courage to leave. I know it won’t be easy, but you just have to come up with an exit plan.

    I know you’ll find a man who will fulfill your every need and who will treat you with love and respect.

  19. Hey I Was in a relationship like this for a year. Just start a list of the things you dislike about him and let the contempt grow. Then break up and just keep breaking up with him until he lets you go.

    Good luck. I promise it gets better.

  22. Run girl, ruuuuun!

    Do not fall into the trap of an abusive relationship!

  23. Touch is super important during sex, makes it so much more intimate. Kissing too. I love it when my fiance touches my body, it makes me feel so sexy.

  25. Your first paragraph says it all. It’s over. Just end it and move on.

  26. Imagine that your best friend wrote this post. Or your sister, your mom, whoever you care deeply about. What would you tell her to do? Please make an exit plan ASAP, no one deserves to be in a relationship like this.

  27. Please don’t waste any more of your life in this situation. I don’t know what is keeping you there but there is nothing more important than your own wellbeing and this situation is damaging you. It could take years for you to recover. You might think that you can’t leave but you can’t afford to stay. I am speaking from experience.

  28. Forget the sex thing, you need to get out of the relationship simply for this part:

    >For well over a year my boyfriend has been the biggest asshole to me. Treating me like his slave, having me do literally everything for him and never giving me one shred of gratitude.

    No partner worth being with will do that to you. The sex thing is also an issue but even without that, THIS alone is enough for me to say GET OUT. Stop trying to fix what is broken beyond repair. A partner like the one you describe will only change if you stop enabling them – and by staying with him (for more than a YEAR!!!!) you are basically telling him “it’s fine to treat me like dirt, I’ll simply roll over and take it”. You are right, it IS amazing to be in bed with someone who genuinely appreciates your body – and I say that as a man. So get out of this relationship and FIND THAT MAN WHO APPRECIATES YOU AND YOUR BODY.

  29. I can relate to this with my ex, I don’t want to go into great detail in case my SO ever finds my reddit so I’ll spare the details. But sex absolutely felt like a chore. I was emotionally dead because of how badly he treated me and I just *can’t* get turned on with no emotional connection personally. Plus there was absolutely no intimacy. I felt like an object. I actually convinced myself I must be gay because the only way I could finish would be to imagine being intimate with a woman. I remember once he caught me rolling my eyes (not in pleasure lmao) and he flipped out and got upset. I couldn’t leave because he helped me get into debt and I THOUGHT I couldn’t survive on my own. Anyway he did eventually leave for a number of reasons, but I’m surviving just fine, best thing that’s ever happened. And now I have a partner who literally makes me tingle head to toe just by looking at me. He’s incredibly attentive and passionate and the sex is unreal.

    100% leave his ass. You deserve better.

  30. Why are you having sex with him if you get nothing out of it? Just stop. Tell him straight up that you wont have sex with him bc he doesn’t put in any effort and it feels like a chore. And work on a plan of separation.

  32. i don’t understand why people continue to allow these dickheads to have sex with them. Do you not have a shred of self respect?

  33. Had this been a bloke trying to justify cheating, I have an inkling the responses would be a little different

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