I (unfortunately) live in a tiny town which is extremely religious. I have always known my current wife since we were children then we lost contact when we chose different high schools. Then we met again at university. We started dating and both found jobs nearby our town post graduation. So we moved together and that caused our families to get really mad at us because living together when not married is a huge sin apparently. So we got married, I was extremely happy about it even though I would have waited a bit longer.
Two months in, I had to go away three days for work, and she cheats on me. I forgave her and tey to normalise things between us, but our sex life turned to shit. It feels like when we have sex she’s just there waiting for me to finish, so I don’t even want to do it anymore like that. We fought some times and she in anger noments told me that she wishes to go back in time and marry someone else, and that she thought I was different. She then apologised a lot and swore she didn’t mean to say that.
I know sex wise it’s my fault. She told she finished eoth tje other guy. I’m probably not attractive anymore to her. I don’t want to divorce because I still love her and also the situation is complicated for both of us, our families will disown both of us if we divorce. I’m not financially stable enough yet nor is she. I’m trying my best but I feel like I’m a bit stuck. What can I do to make her more satisfied and save this relationship? Should just give up and accept that I’m not enough? I thought also maybe I could suggest to open the relationship as my therapist said, so she can find sexual satisfaction with someone else. Is that a good idea?
10 comments
That is fucked up
Divorce her
I am sorry, but you guys should never gotten married, I am so sorry that your family pressured two naive too young people to do that. But I am 100% that she still cheats on you, you need to set her free. You love her, but she doesn’t, sorry to say that.
You are enough, but you aren’t enough for her. Time to start figuring out how you move forward from here (alone).
Sorry this is where you find yourself, OP. If you decide to stay with her, you’ll feel like a failure for the rest of your life. You have a lot of life left to live, so you owe it to yourself to get there.
There are shitty places in the states where living wage is less than $15 an hour. Since you already live in a shitty place that you won’t be welcome in post divorce, seems like minimal downside.
You have options, but you haven’t figured them out yet. Don’t decide that you can’t uproot: at least look into it seriously. What you find might surprise you.
I really hope this is just a troll post from some sad person who gets off on humiliation.
She doesn’t respect you, your relationship or anything else about this terrible situation. Why are you allowing yourself to be walked all over, you have no self respect here. If your family thinks you wasting your life with this garbage is required, they also are not worth your time. You get one life, don’t waste it like this, work on yourself, find someone who actually values you.
**So you want to keep both of you unhappy?**
She’s not happy with you. You aren’t happy with her. She risked your health by cheating on you. She actively hates that are her husband and you want to stay because or LOVE?
You aren’t in love, you are in an abusive relationship and willing to do anything rather than do the hard thing.
Yup, getting divorced has a cost. You may lose money, friends and family. Stay with her and you lose your health, youth and sanity. Not a great tradeoff.
No decent therapist would ever suggest swinging to fix a relationship. It may add spice to a healthy trusting relationship, but it will not fix broken relationships. Ever. It will just delay your divorce before she leaves you – and it will cost you even more health, youth and sanity.
Get out of your bad situation. Leave tonight. Every minute you stay is wasted time.
Sorry bro – she is over you. You may not want a divorce but she does – give it to her or be miserable
You forgave her but she never came back to the marriage.
Stop worrying about her satisfaction and start looking for a lawyer. Any therapist to suggests opening the relationship to a monogamous person is a fraud
You deserve to be with someone that wants to be with you. Dump her and find the real someone special
Divorce tell everyone she cheated, and you can’t get over the fact she blew a guy and then kissed you on the mouth. You wont ever be able to have sex with her again. Your wasting your time.
Dude! She cheated and imo sounds verbally abusive towards you. Get an attorney, follow their advice and divorce her ass! You’ll be way better off without her from the sounds of things.
Your family with disown you if you divorce her after she cheated on you?!? Fuck that, divorce them too while you’re at it. No one in this situation loves you. So you need to love yourself and move on.