So my girlfriend (18f) and I (18m ftm) were very sexually active when we first got together. Our relationship is awesome and we will hit a year in July. I’ve noticed though that she won’t touch me while having sex unless I ask and then even then she will say no 8 times out of 10. We have been together for nearly a year and I can count the amount of times she’s touched me on a single hand. Usually sex for us is me doing 100% of the work for both of us which typically leaves me a little frustrated because I just gave her exactly what she wanted for anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours then I’m just left to get myself off and half of the time I can’t, simply because they’re my fingers touching me if that makes sense? She never makes any advances or moves on me anymore. She says it’s nothing but it’s starting to make me feel really undesirable in a way. What can I do? I have no idea what to do about it because our relationship is amazing otherwise. And no im not an over sexual asshole. I promise im a good person and a good boyfriend. I don’t expect sex all the time or really ever. Im just tired of doing all the work and her not seeming to want to even touch me. I know she’s not a pillow princess because she has had ex’s where she would top them. (She’s bi). I would just like to be able to air out everything, todays been a very quiet day due to me not knowing how to process this and move forward to solving the issue. She doesn’t seem bothered by the lack of sex, we have gone months without sex and she is okay with it happening again though I don’t think I am okay with that like she is so how do I bring it up before our sex life is dead?? It sounds terrible and selfish but physical intimacy is very important to me. How do I bring this up and get a truthful conversation with her?
TLDR; My (18M) girlfriend (18F) isn’t making advances on me at all. Our relationship is great but when we do have sex, she refuses to touch me. She’s not a pillow princess and has touched me before (four times in almost a year). I’m feeling undesirable and a little insecure. How can I bring these issues up with her and get a truthful response?
2 comments
This relationship is doomed. Either she’s cheating on you already or is on some medication killing her sex drive.
Truth is, sexual incompatibility is a relationship killer. Soon enough you’re just going to crave other people when you’re not getting your needs met by your own gf. You have been patient long enough. I personally would label it as incompatibiity. Once you do so, you have to accept that this problem might go away for a bit but it can almost always most certainly return. Why would you want to deal with this later on when you’re even more deep into the relationship.
honestly it just seems that she’s checked out of the relationship. if she’s on any medication, she should talk to you about the side effects. other than that, there’s nothing you can do on your side except to break up. you’ve tried to encourage her and she seems not into it. i’d strongly advice to breakup if you believe that sex is a big deal in your relationship overall. i hope you meet someone that has the same sex drive as you