So, I had very hot/cold relationship with a man. I could tell you a long story I’ve had with him, and it was mostly sad, toxic and really affected me negatively. If you would ask me why I kept contacting him and apologising to whatever to just get him back, I would awnser that he is like an addiction for me. There is no day ever since I met him that I didnt think about him. I was crazy in love but now…I feel mostly hatred and regret.
In this situation, for about 3 months I had contact with him again (like I mentioned above on/off contact for about 5 years also long distance). We actually were flirting with each other like we almost always do, but it’s like we’re walking on egg shells because I can never confront him about how he treats me and what am I to him. He would just ghost me for another months. And I know that we would never make it out because of distance, and that I am actually scared of him and I resent him (he also treats me like an option and ego boost). I just dont understand why I keep coming back to him and recieve the same pain over and over.
Lately I had birthday. He asked me in message what kind of present I want. I told him that maybe necklace or dress would be nice, and he sent me money with reply “this is not much but maybe you could buy a necklace when you get more money” (he gave me 12$ in US money) but he sent those money with recipient name “who1e”. It made me feel so disrespected and angry. Also in my country when you send someone money, when you have somenone’s number, it will automatically copy paste to recipient name so I guessed I was named “who1e” in his phone this whole time and I caught him on lie. He basically said that he dont like to give people money and to “have a great fun”. That’s it. Then he was gone. I sent money back of course almost immediataly, and blocked him. I feel so much pain because of this. I don’t understand why he can’t be honest with me, pretends to like me but call me such names behind my back and thinking so low of me. And he knows well that I will come back eventually and the same game will be played. What can I do?
TLDR: I have complicated contact with a man which causes me pain for years. On my birthday, he sent me money for a present but called me offensive name. I blocked him, but feel conflicted about contacting him again as he is unlikely to do so. What can I do?
2 comments
You need to go to therapy and figure out why you want to stay involved with someone who treats you like this.
> If you would ask me why I kept contacting him and apologising to whatever to just get him back, I would awnser that he is like an addiction for me.
You’ve summed it up pretty well to me. You’re essentially addicted to this dude’s attention and will do anything to get it. Does that sound healthy or acceptable? I think you know what’s right.