So. On Tuesday this guy (27m) I’ve been seeing came over and we had a cute lil date night. Backstory: he shares a birthday with Taylor swift (and im a massive fan) and when we were planning on hanging out next he mentioned that we should hang out on June 13th bc it’s Taylor swifts (and his) half birthday. The thing about me is I will always commit to the bit. So I made half a cake for half a birthday, it said “happy 1/2 birthday day Tswift (& his name)” anyways it was super cute!! We made dinner together, got high, and cuddled on the couch. He planned on spending the night and then we would co-work the next day together. We ended up not having sex (which has happened before! We would just have sex in the morning) while we were falling asleep my tummy started to not feel super great. Around 3am I woke up and he asked me if I was alright and all I said was my tummy didnt feel super good and I got up to go to the bathroom. I start out having the flaming shits, which isnt great but I can bounce back from that. But while im still sitting on the toilet I feel it coming, and i didnt have time to move and I projectile vomit across the bathroom sink. Mind you, the bathroom is right next to my bedroom. So as things start to die down, he asks me if I need anything, and he brings me the Clorox wipes and my glasses. Mortified I only open the bathroom door far enough to stick my hand out for the wipes and glasses. While I cleaned the bathroom he pulled out fresh clothes for me, which I put on after a shower. I offered to sleep on the couch bc of germs and he was like I’ve been kissing you all night, please just come back to bed. So we slept until morning he still stayed to work but I ended up running a fever. So I slept on the couch next to him and he played with my hair, made sure I drank water, and when I cried about wanton soup he ordered me some. So the day comes to an end and he goes back home. The next day I say something kinda spicy and he ignores it. Later on in the day I say something bolder and he deflects it. Now my lizard brain is convinced he doesnt find me attractive anymore. I did ask him this morning for some reassurance but he hasn’t responded yet. Would love more guidance on how to navigate this
TLDR; my situationship heard me vomit everywhere and then took care of me afterwards but is now acting weird and i don’t think he’s attracted to me anymore
3 comments
Right now all you are working off of is anxiety and a few small instances where he didn’t want to have sex. You said yourself that it wasn’t unusual for you not to have sex from time to time. If this is something that’s going to bother you, why don’t you talk to him? You can get it all out in the open, and find out if there’s an actual issue or if you are just jumping at shadows.
It’s a bit strange to me that after/still being so sick (as you described in detail), your instinct was to text him sexy things. That seems forced and feels like it’s coming from a place of insecurity – much like your request for “reassurance.” That’s the thing that’s more likely to be a turn-off. Back off and stop performing for him and seeking confirmation/validation from him.
I mean, yeah, he might not be attracted to you anymore. It happens. He also may just be a bit grossed out and not feeling it *right now*. If that’s the case, you begging for validation won’t make it come back. I would lay off the attention seeking and let him kinda deal with it in his own mind.