What’s the best british joke you know?

6 comments

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2. What do you call London in a power cut ?

   Londoff.

3. The farmer said “they were heifers”. But we knew what he meant, said Johnny.

4. A Stewart Lee joke. The IRA are good old fashioned British terrorists. They didn’t want to be British, but they were.

5. When I told my family I was going to be a comedian they laughed.

   They’re not laughing now.

   B.Monkhouse.

   My favourite joke but many overseas don’t get it.

6. A man goes to the pet shop and buys a centipede

   He takes him home and puts him in a matchbox

   In the evening the man says, “Do you want to go to the pub?”

   There’s no answer from the matchbox

   He waits for an hour and then says again, “Do you want to go to the pub?”

   Then a voice comes from the matchbox: “I heard you the first time, I’m just putting my shoes on”