I 36/M started talking to someone 35/F I met through a dating app over a year ago. This person lives only about a half hour to 45 minutes away. We have a lot in common but aside from one time that I was driving through and got her to agree to meeting up on her lunch break was never able to move it past texting/Snapchat, never even a phone call.
We never had discussion on future plans, relationship goals, and mostly just shared details of each others days keeping eachother company.
I was going through some hardships in this period that we related on but ultimately felt like it just moved into penpal territory and I really need the physical presence of a partner.
I recently met someone local that I really started falling for unexpectedly and want to date them exclusively. I feel like it’s not appropriate for me to continue to talking to this person in the same way/if at all but want to be respectful of any feelings that are there.
Looking for advice: Am I overthinking this situation? Do I really owe someone I haven’t built an intimate connection with an explanation? Best way to deliver this information?
2 comments
It can be difficult when you feel like you have invested a lot of time into a relationship that hasn’t been able to develop into anything more, especially if you have formed a connection in another way. It is important to consider how this other person might feel if you suddenly stop talking to them, as they could be hurt if they feel the same connection.
In terms of communication, it’s important to be honest and respectful. Putting your own feelings aside, it is important to think about how this other person might be feeling and how best to communicate with them. You don’t need to go into too much detail, but make sure to communicate your decision in a way that is respectful and mindful of the other person’s feelings. It’s important to be open and honest about why you feel like the relationship isn’t able to progress further. You don’t necessarily owe this person an explanation, but it can help them to process the situation better and make it easier to accept.
In terms of overthinking the situation, it is understandable that you want to handle it with care and respect. This does not mean you need to spend too much time thinking and obsessing over it, but just ensure that you think about it carefully and communicate thoughtfully with them.
Are they real for certain?