For context: Me (20) and my bf (22) have been together for almost a year, we live together kinda. Just last week I saw a message on his phone that made me suspicious. It was the 😘 emoji with a fake contact name, deleted messages, and muted notifications. When I confronted him he told me that she was from his past and that he doesn’t know why he did this and they never did anything together, she means nothing, whatever. So I didn’t really know what to do or ask or say. Then I started asking more questions and more and more lies came out. I had asked specifically if they had been flirting or sexting and he promised me that they hadn’t and he didn’t want that. Fast forward I make him stay at his moms, demand the girls phone number, come to find out he gave me a different number or the girl was lying. Then I tell him that I still think he is lying and that he has this one chance to come clean about what rlly happened and he said he sent her a pic when we were together and from my bathroom. I feel extremely hurt and disrespected, I still feel like there’s more to the story but idk. I feel like Im a passive person and I still love him but it won’t be the same. My friends have told me to dump him, but others say we could work it out. I wanna work it out and so does he, but if stay together what’s gonna happen?
TL;DR!
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>if stay together what’s gonna happen?
There is no possible way to know this. But I do know one thing: relationships are based on trust. You’ve clearly lost trust, and for good reason.
There is no one who can give you any assurance that staying with him will result in a healthy and happy relationship. In fact, I’d wager, most people would also say the same thing your friends did, which is to move on.
The reason for that has a little to do with the fact that guys who are 22 who do that don’t often change, and also because you are super super young and there are a million other guys you can date.
So *could* you guys work out? Yeah, maybe. I doubt it. But I guess it’s possible.
It’s all about how much time you’re willing to risk. Trustworthy guys are trustworthy from day 1.
What’s gonna happen?
You are going to be constantly worried he may do it again, which will affect your relationship. It is not Just the betrayal but the constant lies that makes him untrustworthy. Tbh, after à while, he will do it again because he is not even telling you the whole story and not taking accountability.
You may work it out, but given your ages, I highly doubt it. I think you are way too young to be dealing with a bf like this. I advise to make it à habit from now on, if your partner doesnt respect you and doesnt love you, leave and move on.
If you choose to stay with someone who cheats on you and lies to your face, you’ll be cheated on and lied to again.
> but if stay together what’s gonna happen?
Here’s my prediction based on this subreddit. Over time you’re gonna find out more and more about this girl and their interactions. There will be inconsistency in the story, and every time you push more he tells you a little bit worse of a story, hoping that you will let it go (this already happened because first it was nothing, then he sent a picture… next he says they met up one time but it was nothing, okay maybe they kissed, okay maybe they slept together but it was a drunken mistake… Etcetera)