So, background:
My bf (m19) and I (f19) have decided to break up at the end of the semester due to a bunch of factors that, summed up, mean it’s the wrong time for long distance/some sort of “break.” For context, we’ve been together for almost three (3) months, but started seeing each other back in December, and became friends/acquaintances in September. The thing is that I love him for more than just being my boyfriend; he’s so incredibly special to me, he’s one of my best friends, and part of the reason we are breaking up now is to preserve our friendship so we can still be in each other’s lives in the future. I’ve had experiences where guys told me they loved me and actually did not care about me, but he’s so entirely different and while I’m heartbroken we have to part ways, I know it’s for the best in the present and our immediate future.
So, here’s the question:
How long should we cease contact before we can start talking again?
If I could have it my way we’d just continue talking right after the breakup, but I know from past experiences with worse people that it’s not always the right decision. I really want him to stay in my life though, even if we’re not like, TOGETHER-together.
Would a month be enough? Two (2) months? My roommate says she thinks it would be best to wait the entire summer but I don’t want to wait four (4) full months before talking to him again. Please help! 😃
TL;DR: My bf (m19) and I (f19) are breaking up because of timing, etc., but we still want to be in each other’s lives. How long should we cease contact before we can start talking/beings friends again?
5 comments
Why bother?
The way I read this, seems like you’re deep down harboring some hope that you two can get back together. If you’re still in love, you need to cut contract UNTIL AFTER you’re over him. If you really don’t care anymore about being together, then sure contact him whenever you want. As long as it’s a good reason to. Maybe it’s time to let go
You don’t re-read the same book and expect a different ending.
Here’s the thing, sometimes you send a prayer out to god for the right one but the devil hears it instead.
Move on and find self love is the best thing you can do.
My 2 cents. While you say messaging him right away won’t be good…how do you know ? Does he wanna stay in touch with you aswell?
Personally, if the breakup was on good terms I’d feel safe to continually message them. If you leave a huge break in no communication that could leave an impression you don’t care anymore. It goes both ways tho, you shouldn’t be putting in all the effort!
You really believe that you will be over each other in a few months?