I have been dating my high school crush for two years now . we are in an ldr(across countries) since the start . Everything was smooth in the start but with time I feel like he is not that interested in me and he puts in zero effort. He never asks me to send him my pictures and when I do he just calls me cute and I sense no emotions in his replies . Earlier he used to compliment everything about me and that made me feel so wanted and desirable but now that he has stopped ,it really hurts me. I have talked to him about this many times but he tries for few days and that looks fake to me but he can’t even act for long .
I don’t like the fact that he is no longer excited to see me , he is not excited for calls and video calls and I feel so unwanted. I also feel bad because I am head over heels in love with him. He says that there is not much to do in long diatance relationship and things get boring over time. But is complimenting me that big a deal that he got bored of it? I do not expect any major effort I just want to feel he still loves me. He keeps saying that once the ldr ends in few months things will get better. But I feel like he doesnt like me anymore and even if he does this is not what’s making me happy.
PS- I want a solution , I dont want to leave him. I have crushed on him for 7 years before we got into the relationship and he is perfect for me in so many ways but this thing has been bothering me for a long time now .tbh i want to give him the taste of his own medicine but i dont know if he would care that I stopped doing things for him
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This sounds exactly like something I could’ve written about my ex years ago, we were very long distance and had been friends for years prior to our relationship. “Things will get better when I’m closer,” that’s all I kept hearing for months. But guess what? His behavior didn’t change once we were together (aside from the initial excitement of seeing me) it persisted and got worse until it ultimately lead to our breakup. Now am I saying you should just up and leave your boyfriend based off my experience? No, absolutely not, only you can decide what’s best for you. But what I can speak from is experience and offer you my advice and my advice to you is to choose yourself and your peace no matter how much you care for someone else. You can’t force someone to appreciate what you do for them or appreciate you as a person; so you’re right, trying to give him a taste of his own medicine won’t work, especially if he doesn’t value what you have to offer. I used to talk to my ex about the same things over and over again just like you have with your boyfriend, he would make small changes for a small amount of time and then things would just go back to the way they were before. I had to open my eyes to the fact that, that is a form of disrespect and there’s no other way around it, he’s disrespecting you. I understand you want to save things with him, but you cannot control what he is going to do or what he wants to do either. Hopefully him moving back does create a better relationship for the both of you. But I also will note that someone who can’t make small changes for you, is usually someone who won’t be able or be willing to make big changes for you down the road, so please, keep that in mind as well. You can continue to tell him what you need, that’s all you really can do at this point, but if the same pattern continues, I truly hope you realize that you deserve so much better. Best of luck, I hope it all works out well for you! ❤️