Honestly since i was little girl ive been such an oddball. Pretty normal for a child though but i stayed weird even now that i am almost an adult. Not in a weird creepy way though. Just in the way that people just think im odd and tend to make fun of me for being being childish and the interests/obsessions i have. I tend to dress on the gothic side and listen to goth, rock,and just anything alternative so that could also be another factor into why i seem different or weird. Ive been pretty shy around people i dont really know my whole life but it feels like ive just gotten worse. Yet when im with people i enjoy i become the opposite. I dont hide how i truly am. I genuinely have fun. Yet sometimes i cringe at myself for how i act with friends. I feel like i try to not act out certain things i do when im alone that i find weird or “cringey” in public but when im with friends its typically harder to do.
Its also just difficult to make friends. Even when i try my hardest, i just cant make friends as easily as my peers. I get ignored, get called weird even behind my back, and usually i just get left behind. Recently i tried to get a friend to hang out with me since its summer and they said yes and we planned it yet when the day came i got no answer and my message wasnt even read at all. After a while i thought maybe i was too fast with this as wed just started actually being friends not too long ago and also summer had just started. I dont get whats wrong with me or even what im doing wrong for me to be so different to everyone else because i feel like im not even that odd compared to everyone else. I have an ok sense of humor like most people, im kind, i can have a genuine conversation, i try my best to include everyone on things (unless they get on my nerves which a few people have that ive cut off) yet i get nothing back. Nobody ever tries to talk to me. Nobody messages me first. Im always the one asking to hang out. What am i doing wrong? What are tips i can use to help me out and how can i change myself to make people like me
3 comments
Hey, good news is that you still got time. Don’t sweat it
This post speaks to me. Ive always been that kid growing up and now as a grown man I still feel that way. I am happy to make new friends and I am happy to be the one intiating but I find that, yes much like you, im always the one initiating.
I dont really have an answer for you; Still trying to figure that puzzle out myself. Like ybneth says, we still got time. Im trying to shift my focus onto being myself, having fun and trying to find a reason to be grateful every day I am alive.
For what its worth you sound like a cool person, and I think you would make a good friend. Im sure many of the people in your life feel the same, even if they arent always the best at showing it 😀
Ok first off, there is nothing wrong with you, most people feel a bit odd compared to others. Trust, MOST PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THE WEIRDO! I can not stress this enough. A lot of what most people do in public is to try to dispel the feeling of not fitting in.
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Here is another secret… there are people that think you are cool and feel like they wish they could be like you. I know it sounds silly but everyday you cross paths with hundreds of people, statistically a non-zero number of those people look at you and think “Man, I wish I was like them”
The issue you face is that you are particularly empathic. That you are sensitive to other people’s perception of you. Unfortunately, humans are not mind readers, so we tend to fill in the gaps of what we think people are thinking. For some people they think” oh EVERYONE LOVES ME AND EVERYTHING I DO!” and some people like myself and from what I gather you as well we think “oh they don’t like me, they think I’m lame or boring” (it took me a long time to unlearn this my self)…
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You have to put that voice to bed. Remind your self, the person paying the most attention to you … IS YOU! You are the only one that notices the things you think everyone sees. Most of the time, people don’t notice things, unless YOU intend them to notice. I know it’s a weird frame of mind, but that is legit what is happening.
Advice from a fellow overthinker. Remind your self, “people don’t notice you as often as you think, unless you are trying to be noticed”
You got this!