When you aren’t feeling well, how do you expect your partner to treat you?

14 comments

1. I want the grandma treatment. Fuss over me, tuck me into bed, get me a drink before I ask for it, pick up some of my chores.

   I ask my partner for it, but he does not have that skill set – and some of his brain limitations means he probably never will. So I either do it myself or outsource it to other people.

2. I expect to be cared for and checked in on. My husband usually makes me dinner, brings me a blanket, and runs out for any medicine I might need. He checks in to see how I’m feeling and makes sure I have what I need.

3. Definitely NOT wrong but not everyone can provide what we actually prefer.

   Myself I prefer to have the, what I like to call, “burrito treatment”, I’m overly sensitive when not feeling well so reassure me, words of affirmations, compliment me, love me like you need air and just treat me like I’m the most fragile piece of glass this world has, type of things but yeah with my partner I need to reach my mental limit for him to do that before his personal show up again lol so I just give that to my own self.

4. I have been ill the past couple of days and the guy I’ve been seeing for the last 6 weeks turned up at my house yesterday to take care of me. He looked after my dog, ran me a bubble bath, made a cold compress for me, checked my temp, made me a drink, got me some medicine. Basically everything he could think of to do, he did. This was so nice of him as we haven’t known each other long and I’m usually pretty self sufficient. It honestly made me cry as I felt so cared for. This is now going to be my standard going forward.

5. The same as always: love, caring, companionship, thoughtfulness, kindness, consideration, comfort, support, etc

   I don’t expect them to turn their life upside down because I don’t feel well, but I do expect them to act like a caring and loving partner to whom my well-being is important.

6. I expect him to be led by me in how I want to be treated. I’d appreciate if he popped to the pharmacy to get me any medication I might need. But overall when I’m unwell, I just want to be left alone and I’m too tired for social interaction, so I don’t want him to say much to me or ask how I am, I tend to just get irritated.

7. Take over any kid-related tasks and leave me alone

8. I want to be left alone. I don’t like being fussed over when I am sick. Let me sleep. I will crawl out of my cave when I feel better.

9. I don’t expect him to do much but let me be. However, he has been known to make me breakfast in bed and buy me gifts when I’m sick. 🙂

10. We’ve been together for 16 years so he’s most excellent at taking care of me (& I him, I hope) when I’m unwell

    Thankfully it’s a rare event, but what I expect is for him not to expect anything from me!

    Essentially, if I’m ill, I check out of all responsibilities & rest.

    We don’t have children or anything, so it’s more about routine.

    For example, I usually cook dinner & do the bulk of the housework because I’m home a lot earlier than he is from work.

    If I’m ill, I’ll message him like “mayday, woman down! really not feeling good, gone to bed xx”

    So he knows he’ll have to make himself food & anything else that’s needed while I’m out of the game.

    He knows to 100% not disturb me, but bless him, the second he hears the creak of me moving in the bed he’s up those stairs. Thermometer in hand, water, paracetamol & taking requests for what I would like to eat. He’s already done all the quiet chores at this point.

    He’s an excellent partner & I hope I return the favour well too. Not much of a difference when he is ill, with the exception that he wants cuddles. If I’m sick & he even tried that I’d be raging haha

11. Leave me alone. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to think. Being fussed over irritates the fuck out of me.

12. I want to be pampered when I am not feeling well. I understand that I become about as helpful as a rock when I am sick or not feeling well. Luckily my fiancé goes out of his way to pamper me and he doesn’t make me feel bad at all for just being. He anticipates my needs and does things accordingly. He is just simply amazing and this is one of the many reasons why I love him so much.

13. Like a princess. I’m a very independent woman but I like to feel cared for.

14. What do I want when I’m not feeling well: caring gestures, make my tea, be generally cozy

    What do I expect, ten years into the relationship: awkwardness and a chilly disposition until I’m better