Wanting my husband to be more aggressive in bed.

3 comments

1. You need to guide him. A lot of men put themselves in a box with what they think they are allowed to do to show how they care. Being aggressive is very opposite of what they’ve been told their whole life. You have to talk to him and let him know why you like it and how you want it done. And what your limits are. He wants to make you feel good but he never wants to really hurt you. So you have to show him where those lines are or he’ll never try.

   And you have to explain to him it’s not a slut one night stand thing. It’s a different way to make a connections. You like the degreasing because it makes you feel Like you are the only one he world for him. Or whatever you internally feel/need. But you have to talk about it safely PRIOR. You can’t just get all hot and tell him to slap me or choke me. That’s how people get hurt physically and traumatized.

2. I think you have to talk to him outside the bedroom about what you want and why/how it would make you feel good…maybe even do like a couples kink survey together… then in the bedroom guide him either with motions or dirty talk or positive reinforcement.

   With my SO I assumed she/most women liked sensual sex vs hard/rough and didn’t take a bunch subtle cues in the first couple years together… then she became much more forward about in the heat of the moment like “fuck me as hard as you can”, “yes, like that, harder, harder!!! don’t stop.”,”I love feeling your balls slap against me!”, ….
   So I did, and she loved it and the next morning she is like “mmm, I’m still a little sore from last night”, I started to apologize but she stopped me and said, “no…it makes me remember how good it felt and how I want you again tonight”

3. he may look at marriage as an equal partnership with much more respect. with his girlfriends, that respect was not there so it was easy for him to play the role.