Im currently dating this amazing girl, beautiful, intelligent, in my field of study, we have great and long conversations, and everything is going very well.
I should mention that shes much more slow paced than I am, in terms of showing affection and opening up. In the beginning I was doubting everything because I was saying nice words, and grabbing her hand, and she didnt reciprocate much, which of course caused me anxiety, but right now we have already talked about that, she explained how much she is enjoying my company and wanting me with her, but that she just takes things very slowly, and only after many months considers the “boyfriend” word, which calmed me down. She plans stuff with me very constantly, but after we go away from eachother, I feel anxious again.
Im quite the overthinker, think about everything constantly, and I cant shake the feeling that shes too beautiful for me, or that she wont find attractive that I dont have many friends in university, or stupid stuff like this. I still cant realize if it is my anxiety speaking, or if there might be something else. Why does everytime I really start liking someone, I feel like this? And why does the opposite happens to? Like, it seems I get along better with girls I dont really really like /love, because everything seems so much more chill. Does anyone had this experience and it turned out to be fine in the end?
5 comments
Some kind of impostor syndrome or self-sabotage?
I have done that too. Focus on how she makes you feel in everyday life. If there’s overall positivity and harmony going on, let it pass. If there’s significant negativity and you can’t shake a feeling of anxiety, maybe explore thoughts of going back to the single life
Because you’re more emotionally invested in a specific outcome with someone you really like, and you’ve tied your sense of self-worth to that outcome.
Perhaps you should focus on seeing if they’re your best friend and then decide to date them. I also wonder if you’re too much alike and you’re subconsciously looking for an opposite to attract to.
“Why are you doing this” may be for a psychologist to unlock.
Taking it slow is important man. Gotta build a relationship before you truly have one.
Think the other way think she deserves to get what she wants so stay in it