Me (F19) my bf (26) we have been together for 3 years and it’s a very loving caring relationship we barely fight etc and when we first met I’d never had sex or anything so I had to learn how to do things the right way etc because it’s easy just watching videos but actually doing it was harder than I thought…but 3 years down the line he’s been asking I’d say for about 6-7 months now n I keep on asking him is it me? Do you not like me? N he always says it’s nothing like that atall he loves me and he only wants me but I don’t understand why he would want another girl or another guy involved with me if he loves me ? Maybe I’m just too shy but I’d thought I’d ask on here cause heard it can be helpful… should I be worried?
24 comments
Ok. Lemme just say red flag that you were dating someone in their 20s while you were 16. The rest of it is moot after that point for me…
I’m 100% questioning his motives
You shouldn’t be worried one bit. So common for people that are in a healthy relationships to explore or have sex with others.
Well first things first: Dont have a threesome, you are not ready for a threesome.
And you should only be worried if you say no clearly and he keeps on pushing. Maybe dont have a bf then.
I have the same age gap with the same starting age, and he made very sure to get the naive out of me that you clearly seem to still have.
Say clearly that you dont want it. if he is persisting, you might wanna have a thought about whats important for him in your relationship. You or his sexual fantasies.
My gf likes me and a guy
you were with a 23 year old at 16??? girl. please get out of this.
Intriguing age difference, and doubtful lawfulness at the start of your relationship.
The answer is no, and pack your bags.
No it’s a big red flag to me.
If you love someone you wouldn’t want anyone touching them.
You don’t seem at all comfortable with the idea either. Don’t do anything due to peer pressure.
Hopefully your boyfriend is not going to be mad and cry afterwards like so many men do after they get “what they want”
It takes a special type of person to be in the lifestyle and if he is even remotely insecure you’ll know afterwards for sure….look on this sub alone for examples of bitter little men who got their wish and got their feelings hurt.
16 and 23?????
A 23yo wanting to *and being* in a relationship with a 16yo is fucking weird. Unless he is mentally behind his age group, what is he *thinking* about dating a 16yo, that’s really creepy to me.
As for the threesome, he has the right to want one and you have the right to not want one, nobody is in the wrong here, although if you really aren’t up for the threesome, if it came down to it that would probably fuck you up mentally. Maybe he is more open to poly relationships, and you are strictly monogamous, both is fine, but usually, threesomes like this will mess things up quite a lot.
Also, it’s quite disrespectful of him to be asking for 6-7 months if you have already told him no, that’s a boundary crossed. If you’ve already had a conversation, and he “can’t live” without having threesomes in his life, and you don’t want it, then break up or couples counseling is up next.
I say, don’t change your standards. If you aren’t for threesomes, you aren’t.
If the relationship doesn’t work out, there are many people out there who do not want threesomes and will share your values, be those sexual or not.
Personally, I would never ever accept having a threesome with my partner and someone else involved, that’s a deal breaker for me.
the only problem here is you were 16 when he was 23. ILLEGAL.
Dont have a threesome if you are not ready. Believe me alot of people think they want a threesome and when it happens the relationship is over. Someone always get jealous
You need to stand your ground and say no. Once you do something like that, you have just given permission to be with other people. If he truly loves you. Any man truly loves his woman (queen) they should not show them with anyone..AT ALL!! walk away.
I think people from other countries especially USA don’t get that UK kids are pretty damn mature at 16 and dating ax23 y.o. isn’t as unusual here. Lost my v card to ac22y.o girl at 16 40 years ago. It’s your choice and you’re legal. As for the 3some just don’t! You ain’t ready for it and it will break you up anyway so do so with your dignity intact if he wont change. If you need additional encouragement read the 3some post from early this morning uk time to see how easily and badly it can go wrong!
Ok so you’re not ready for a threesome so don’t have one it will only cause problems. Also I have to point out that you write on a Reddit sub and everyone tells you that someone in his 20s being with a 16yo is weird (and I agree) and you get all snarky and defensive. I get you may not want to hear these things but everyone is telling you something like this so they might have a point. As a 27 yo F I would never even consider dating a 20yo boy much less a 16yo. You’ve been together 3 years. So when you got together he was 23 and you were 13?????!!!! Girl he should be in jail.
I don’t think that you are here bc you are questioning your whole relationship and I think you are not here to be judged for your relationship.
I think it’s a very common fantasy and it is nothing wrong with having it and even living it out.
Currently it’s his fantasy…
And maybe you are unsure if it is your fantasy too…
And maybe you are unsure if you are not enough…
But even if your favorite dish is spaghetti you don’t want to eat it every day, do you?
Or you want to spicen up the sauce and vary with the ingredients…
Maybe the new tryout version of your spaghetti sauce tastes better…
Maybe it tastes worse than your usual sauce…
But unless you tried to spicen things up, you never know, right?
And if the kind of spicen things up is the kind you prefer depends on you…
You know best what suits you best.
You’re bf wanting to have a threesome does not mean he loves or values you any less. It’s just a fun fantasy that he would like to try and share with you. There is nothing wrong with exploring fantasies together. And I (41f) have had a lot of threesomes, both ffm and mfm. Always a really great experience! I say go for it!
My(26) girlfriend(24) and I had a regretful threesome. Look up that title on r/sex from 24 hours ago. You will see why you should just STOP AND DONT DO IT!
*cough* This whole relationship sounds like grooming.
You’re young and oblivious to red flags… go ahead and do it. Make the mistakes while you’re young.
I won’t get into the age stuff because it seems like others have beat me too it… it’s weird… That’s neither here nor there, at this point in time you’re now a young adult. First things first, do NOT do anything you are uncomfortable with like a threesome. If you do not want that for yourself do NOT do that, do not let your boyfriend pressure you/ influence you into that if you do not want that for yourself or your relationship. If you feel like your relationship is on the line if you do not consent to a threesome then take that ticket and get the hell out. Clearly, it’s not something you’re into if you’re having thoughts that your relationship is in “jeopardy” so to speak and he’s seeking other sexual partners. You’re still young and probably exploring/learning about your sexual needs and desires. If a threesome does not align with your wants or needs, do not let it happen to make your boyfriend happy. Stand your ground and If he won’t respect you or your boundaries, however you view him wanting to add another person, then it may be time to move on to find someone that is in the same mindset as yourself.
I would bet he is the dominant, controlling decision maker and you want to do anything to please him. I could be totally wrong. But at your age this 3 some will be a deep dark rabbit hole that defines your life.Please don’t get me wrong I love 3 somes, 4 somes, orgies but not at 19-20 years old. I lost a best friend and he lost a girlfriend when we were all 18. Turns out she was the controlling, dominant decision maker and believe me I had fun.
Something you not doing right has his eyes and mind wandering.
If you don’t want to do something then don’t do it.
That’s the end of it.