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reading books, psychoanalysis of people, self-knowledge. but I got it all by itself, that is, a penchant for psychology and analysis .. I constantly think about something. not everything was so good from the start
Two things helped me:
1. Doing the Big Scary Thing, whatever that may be.
2. Going to therapy and having my therapist point out all the Big Scary Things I’ve done that I never even recognized.
Realising that everyone else is so worried about themselves, in the exact same way that I am, and they really couldn’t give a shit about my self-perceived “issues”. They’re too busy feeling crappy about their own.
“People will think I’m a failure” – no they won’t, they’re too busy thinking they’re failures themselves.
“People think I’m ugly” – no they don’t, because you’re not and they’re too busy thinking they’re ugly themselves.
Basically, there are literally millions, if not billions, of people with the exact same esteem issues as me. Makes me feel a bit better. I don’t think they’re all failures, so why would I be any different?
Six months of therapy I finished about three weeks ago. I’d honestly recommend it to anyone with low self esteem issues or mental health issues. I feel so much more confident in myself.
exercise, combat sports
My self esteem about my looks has never been an issue. It’s possible to like the way you look and hate yourself, I sure did. Becoming a wife made me feel like maybe I’m not so bad. Having children made me love myself. I figured if a tiny little baby could immediately love and trust me, I could love and trust myself.
Books and my mom
About my looks, plastic surgery. Fixed 10 years of issues in a couple hours.
About everything else, therapy. The surgery was easier and less painful.
Therapy.
Easy for me. I hit the gym and stayed in better shape
Knowing that I was born alone, will die alone and be forgotten by my kids as they move on in life.
Realizing my worth, people were so busy projecting onto me over everything they were lacking and I was far too naive to believe that they will ever change nor treat me right so I got back to how I was but better before I had met those people and till this day I live up to my expectations and personal standards, with ofc as any other human being, having my down moments but they don’t really last long.
This may sound trivial, but growing a garden. I grew up in a rural area and now live in a big city. I know how hard it is to successfully grow a garden, and when I got the chance to use some outdoor space in our building I was worried I would embarrass myself and plant a bunch of stuff that would drop dead. Instead, it looks awesome and people keep asking me how I knew how to grow such difficult flowers and herbs so well. It just made me feel like I really can pull off cool stuff with the knowledge I have and my ability to research and learn.
Fake it till you make it! And taking better care of mystery!!! Do the things i want, saying what i want, wearing what i want. Be honest with myself.
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Realising that noone actually gives a f*ck about what I do, what I wear or what I act like. Everyone else is so fully absorbed in their own stuff they dont think about you at all. Took me until my mid forties to really get this though. Its liberating.
Hanging out with an older overweight friend who was confident out in public. After awhile it kind of rubbed off on me. I stopped caring so much what people thought and how I looked. By the time I turned 40 I really became free in not caring. BUT being naked is still a challenge for me. I am apple shaped and have a big belly and do not like being naked. Has to be dark or I have to be wearing a nightie. I am 47 with no hope of a flat stomach in the future so I think this will always be an issue for me. I’d have to find a guy with a belly fetish who would have to worship and convince me he loves a big fat hanging belly for me to relax about it lol.
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Not joking I basically just stopped looking in the mirror so much
I stopped caring about what people thought of me and that helped boost my self-esteem. I for once felt free to be who I want to be without worrying about what others might think.