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9 comments

  1. Ugh! I have been dating someone for about 5 months now. Although I feel like we don’t have revealing, vulnerable conversations, I do think that he has demonstrated care for me with his time. It bothered me that we didn’t feel close, but I think he thought things were fine.

    Well things came to a head the other might when I pointed out he often changes the subject, albeit jokingly, to my cat. But it really kills the potential for conversation. He said we would talk about it the next day because he was going to bed for an early work day. Well, he didn’t text or call. So I called him around 10pm and he was already asleep. He groggily said we could talk the next day and apologized. I said it was confusing for me to have someone avoid talking to me for the first time ever to avoid a conversation, and then apparently sleep like a baby that evening. At first I let it go and then I decided I hadn’t said my peace so I called back and said that if he was going to shut down at such a mildly serious conversation then this relationship probably wasn’t going places. And if I were in this situation I would feel pretty awake right now. He insists he’s exhausted and wants to talk the next day. Again, I say that if he doesn’t want to talk now then it seems like he’s just not interested in talking in general. He says I’m reading too much into things and we can talk after work tomorrow.

    Well, that was last night. I texted him after that phone call ended basically reiterating my feelings. He called today on break and says he doesn’t remember talking to me last night. I summarized that I said I was feeling like he wasn’t even interested in the relationship and he just wanted to go back to sleep. He said he was waiting for me to get off work last night but feel asleep waiting. He said he didn’t want to trace l text anything because it seemed like something we should actually talk about. I said why did you fall asleep then? He insists he was tired. He goes to work at 6am.

    So I said what did you think we were gonna talk about before you fell asleep then. He said he thought we would talk about the state of our relationship and he’s generally satisfied with it.

    Well, now I feel like he passively broke up with me, which he can’t remember. I told him to gather up more thoughts and call me after work. At this point I don’t even know what would satisfy me or if I’m overreacting.

  3. Something I see a lot of men struggle with when trying to date women is not mastering self optimization to attract the best possible mate. If a guy is a 5/10, somewhat low confidence, doesn’t get any matches online, can’t really go up to women in person, and doesn’t have much interesting stuff to converse about, it’s because he hasn’t don’t the work to be his best version. If that same guy got jacked, had interesting stories, lived a captivating life, was extremely competent, and made good money, he could be an easy 7/10.

    We live in a really lazy society where we’re surrounded by comfort, immediate gratification, porn, lack of exercise, fast food, and social media. We have no survival need to make ourselves uncomfortable with a workout, a cold shower, to learn a new skill or language, to go hike a mountain, to work hard on a new business we’re passionate about, etc. But the men who go the extra mile are the ones who stand out.

    I wish more men would understand that once they put effort in the gym, in their intellect, extra education, extra competency skills, make extra money, and learn how to speak and lead with confidence, a whole new world in dating opens up. It takes work, but it’s really important and rewarding.

  5. Shit. I have four confirmed and maybe five first dates starting tomorrow and ending Sunday. Notes app is going to have to pull some weight this weekend.

  6. I’ve been on Hinge for like 4 days, and somehow I’ve already swiped through everyone. I had three matches, but now I’m down to one. One guy never responded to my message, and the other guy unmatched me. This is fun.

  7. A couple of questions

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    Finally pushing myself to get back on apps (I’m ready, just lazy lol) but this week has been insanely busy. I have a few chats going but havent reached out to anyone since Sunday morning because I’m so busy, by the time it’s the end of my day I just want to wash my face and sleep – which is what I have been doing lol.

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    I haven’t been unmatched yet but just curious about what’s people’s threshold when it comes to being left on delivered? I almost feel like I should move on and start fresh but idk :/

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    secondly, I am currently trying to start a business in a certain field… I was intrigued when I saw someone popular from the field in my likes on Hinge. He basically has a relatively large social media following and I’m already a fan! (have bought from him and even went to a pop up of his) Is it weird to inform him of this? If no, how would you bring it up? I feel like it’s on the tip of my tongue but I can’t decide if it’s weird lmao

  8. I am waiting for my divorce to be final to begin dating again. Before anyone makes comments, I’ve been doing my work on myself, and waiting until I’m ready to get back out there.

    My question is has anyone ever reached out to an old high school friend they were always interested in, but never dated? I’m currently not friends with this person on social media, but they recently came to mind. We both were interested in each other 17 years ago, but it was always a one person was ready and the other wasn’t. Would it be better to go directly to them or inquire with a mutual friend if they still talk and ask about how they are doing etc?

  9. Things seem to still be going well but I’m realizing I have a lot of trust issues from dating so it’s been tough navigating that.

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