Background: I am a male (late 20s) from Asia. Moved to Northern Europe couple of years back. Try to be a simple guy. Don’t have much to begin with (money wise) and don’t have big ambitions of being super rich. Just only to provide good quality of life to my family.
Story: Dated only one girl (same age as me, early 20s at that time) in my home country for about 1.5 years. Serious relationship. Never went below the belt. We were happy. Went for long drives. She used to warm up to me. We often talked about getting married and having a wonderful life together. Things happened and we broke up. It tore me apart, probably her too. I moved to a different city for work. Lived there for 2 years.
Later, I decided to persue masters in Northern Europe. I didn’t use any dating apps. I mostly focused on studies. Didn’t go to a lot of parties (didn’t have a lot of money). I started seeing a girl, from Germany. Went out couple of times. She opened up about her things/life. We talked about family and friends. What we want in the future. Deep conversations. Everything felt going good. I am person who like to listen rather than to speak a lot, when it comes to deep conversations. (Never gave any advice, just let her decompress). After a while she started to pull back. Went on for 2 more dates. We stopped talking. I didn’t push, I just let it go. To this day, I still don’t know why. However, doesn’t matter anymore.
After this experience, I felt like having someone to warm up to and have companionship. Opened tinder account (A wrong decision maybe). Most of the dates I went were pretty dull and just wanted to hook up. The topics were education, tourism and alcohol. Nothing good came of the dates. By the way, I do enjoy the parties and do participate actively in games whenever possible. But rather than enjoying the company, I basically became an uber. Hence mostly, I shut it down after 3-4 dates if it persisted. (I also usually don’t make my mind based on one date because you never know if the person is having a bad day or something. It is also hard to understand the nature of the person after a one meet)
After finishing masters, moved to a different city for a job. Met a girl. She told me her stories about life. Pretty heartbreaking to be honest. We went partying. (Atleast I felt, we were enjoying each other’s company). Turns out she’s also looking for casual hookups.
Now, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t feel comfortable to just do the deed and next day move on to the next person. I want someone who genuinely care about each other. I am not sure if I am doing something wrong here. Please advise.
P.S.: I am not the most fit guy there is. I am average height, a bit bulky (not overweight). Now has lost significant weight. Athletic. I don’t know about my face, may not be the most prettiest but get some attention from time to time.
P.S.2: I have been struggling with personal health problems which has taken a toll on my mental health. Nothing serious but still quite exhausting. Hence, I think about having a good companion.