I am with a guy that doesn’t see any value in foreplay or eating me out (he says that he thinks it’s weird because girls have had sex with other guys 🙄🙄). Everyone is entitled to their opinion so i brush it off but it’s obvious he doesn’t know anything about a vagina. Has anyone been in a long term relationship or marriage that didn’t have that part of sex and not miss it or was accepting of it long term? I’m not good with talking about sex because I don’t like to make it about me so I’m not sure I would ever have the courage with any guy to speak up on it.
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>that doesn’t see any value in foreplay or eating me out (he says that he thinks it’s weird because girls have had sex with other guys
I wouldn’t be with a guy who holds such “opinions”. That’s a deal breaker right there. Please know your value. You deserve better.
I dated a girl for years and she refused to give blowjobs, but I ate her out like it was my mission. Eventually it got super frustrating and I realized we just aren’t sexually compatible so we broke up. Sounds to me like you guys are just sexually incompatible
Break up with him you deserve better
Find you a man who loves oysters
This will only cause more problems down the road because he won’t do it even if you ask him to some people are just stubborn.
You are going to wake up in 40 years and realize your whole life has been unfulfilling because you never spoke up for yourself. I guarantee this isn’t the only part of your life you don’t advocate for. You need to find your voice and communicate clearly what you want, need, and expect… In every situation. You are most likely walked all over. And your boyfriend sounds like a 2yo. Get a real man.
When I started dating the woman who is now my wife I never went down on her. We had a conversation about it, and she told me she would like it if I at least tried it a couple of times because how would I know if I really don’t like it if I’ve never done it. My first time was awkward, and I didnt think she really enjoyed it. The second time doing it is when I got her to orgasm and it was from then on I loved it. Now I actually ask her to let me do it quite often. I enjoy knowing that she got off because with PIV it was 50/50 at best for her.
He sounds like a tool. Lol everyone has history.
What a dweeb. Unless a girl has a stinky/dirty one, there is nothing better
I married a guy that refused to give oral when I did I stopped when he made me feel horrible for trying to talk about it and he told me to get a girlfriend if I wanted it so bad he said “ I am not accustom to that type of sex” no dude its why your gaslighting ass is now my x
I (43M) love going down on my girlfriend (51F) and trying different techniques but always mindful of how she likes it.
She enjoys going down on me as well even though I prefer PIV.
There’s always a lot of foreplay and making out prior to all of this and we also use toys since I tend to cum before she does so I get to kiss and touch her that much more until she does.
Your guy is a tool.
Relationships have to feed the three parts of us intellectually spiritually and sexually if you starve any part of those everything else in that relationship will eventually begin to suffer
Perhaps you need to explain it to him. Maybe he’s that dumb 🤷
Give him head, make him realise how good it is.
The point is these things make your partner feel good.
I hate reducing sex to something transactional but, If he doesn’t see the point in making you feel good, then you’ll have to stop seeing the point in making him feel good…
The value of foreplay is it gets you worked up and ready for sex. Sex DOES NOT HAPPEN without it…
Girl… What are you thinking? So many good men in the world and you pick this one?
When I got into my first relationship, he barely went down on me, usually was myself going down on him and at the time I never had the courage to speak up on it.
It wasn’t until my next relationship after him – I spoke up this time and he constantly went down on me, sex was way more fulfilling.
If you want to try new things – communicate it with him. If he starts to judge you or is closed minded on the topic – then it’s clear you aren’t compatible sexually.
He sounds like a selfish idiot to be real. Most guys are not luek this sexuwlly. He sucks
I was in a long term with someone who didn’t give head and I accepted it but I definitely missed it. I think it’s also an important thing for your relationship dynamic. I don’t want to project but based on his reasoning, I think in the long term sex and other big decisions/compromises would be based on his feelings and yours would be shut out. Regardless, you’ll miss the intimacy especially if you’ve been with other people who enjoyed catering to you in those ways. You should definitely talk to him about it and see if he’s willing to put in the effort but if he isn’t then you should consider walking away.
For oral, this is usually due to lack of experience. I was pretty hesitant at first as well, especially since my first girlfriend was really smelly down there, but ended up really loving it when I finally tried it with the next person.
Now I don’t even have to be asked, I’m eating her out. 😉
Sadly, I’m single at the moment so no more of that for now lol.
BUT, that doesn’t excuse him for not even trying. He’s being selfish if he won’t even try to find a compromise you are both comfortable with at the very least.
Yet he’s willing to PIV. Seriously, dump him and find someone to worship your lady parts. The punnany must be praised!
He sounds immature. I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who wouldn’t give me oral sex. Especially if he wants it. And what’s his issue with foreplay? I’m getting the feeling he’s lazy when it comes to sex and is only interested in doing enough to satisfy his needs and nothing more.
My boyfriend knows people who share this sentiment of not wanting to eat a girl out because “other guys dicks have been in there”. I didn’t think this was a thing but apparently it is because it’s posted here. That sucks girl. I don’t have advice because I’ve never experienced this, but I would return the favor by not give oral because “his dick been other girls” if that’s the case.
You’re with a selfish boy. That like refusing a kiss because some one kissed you before. If it a part of sex you like why settle without it? And foreplay if the biggest part of sex! How old is he 18?
How are people like this still alive? Shouldn’t they have fallen off a cliff or forgotten to breathe or set themselves on fire trying to light a cigarette?
How is it possible to be this fucking stupid?
How are you okay with dating a dude who sees your vagina as a used wallet? He thinks you’re impure because you’ve had sex with other guys? He considers you dirty bro.. Tell him you won’t blow him because he’s at least jerked it to other women – you’re entitled to your opinion, too.
Ladies, please stop fucking these narrow minded losers
Dump him. Real men eat it
And he’s had sex with other girls so take blowjobs off the list then
I dated a guy for a year and a half where there was like no fore play beyond making out. Andhe wohld finger me but he made it clear he was only doing it so I could finish and let me tell ya finishing from a half assed finger job is so unsatisfying.
The sex wasn’t great.
I can live with no eating out. I actually was with my last ex for a while and he has a weird issue where he gets really overwhelmed easily by smells of any kind so he only went down on me a couple times. However there was still tons of fore play. Lots of touching on both sides, lots of appreciation for each others bodies, lots of kissing everywhere not just making out, and fingering when it happened was not half assed in a rush to make me finish so he could get off. And once we got to penetration that was also really amazing. You can totally have great sex without oral sex. I don’t love oral cause I get really self conscious and I don’t like giving oral cause I have a joint disorder that causes constant jaw dislocations. So most of the sex I have is oral free.
But you need to decide if the sex with your bf is actually good and satisfying cause there is a huge difference between oral free sex and low effort sex. And I get the feeling your bf is more low effort.
This guy sounds like he needs be alone for a while.
One: his reasoning sucks. “I can’t do foreplay because women have been with other men?”. Is he serious? Would he be the same way if he was a woman’s first and only? If he’d do it for a virgin but won’t for someone with history, he is directly sexually withholding from you as almost a punishment for having other men. Which is disgusting.
Honey, don’t resign yourself to a life of disappointing sex. You’re sexually incompatable, and he’s immature. You can do SO much better.
I have literally never even had as much of a one-night stand with someone who is not willing to get me off lmao I would completely resent that person
Point in case . Know your worth and we need to stop settling. Straight like that . If they want someone always will . If that mouth don’t work , those hand should never be lazy . That goes for men or women. I’m just saying 💪🏽💯
This guy is strange leave him.
Sorry to hear this. Dude better get with the program or be lonely. That foreplay enhances and makes everything better both ways. Hell, I’ll eat it before dinner and after for desert.
Damn I’m single and there really are guys out there not using foreplay or eating out In relationships lmao.
Sounds like you guys are incompatible if it’s important enough to you, but only **you** can make that decision OP.
I only had 2 situations kinda similar. One had a medical condition that made sex painful with.. larger members so we never had sex, and the other refused to give blowjobs (size as well as some unprocessed trauma, I never pushed her. We did allll sorts of other things though).
But it starts with **open and clear communication**. Unfortunately not everyone can do that.
Best of luck!
How old are you? How old is this guy?
Don’t ever settle for someone who doesn’t fulfill you sexually, they’re not gonna change down the road.
Sex is something that is learned… it’s not his inexperience that should lead to ending the relationship, it’s his unwillingness to learn. If he’s not willing to learn, then move on 🙂