I F(24) was seeing this guy M(24) for a little over a year. I found out recently he committed to someone without my knowledge, didn’t tell me (against agreement), and continued to see me like normal.
I found out and I was very angry and hurt. He tried to lie to me about it but I knew not to believe him. Anyways I told the girl and he contacted me asking to lie to her and his friends. To tell everyone I’m a liar and I made it up.
It was hurtful because I felt he cares more about this girl than me. I didn’t have feelings but now I weirdly do and I feel less than. I’m like why see me if you’re in a relationship or why value her more.
He keeps begging me to lie and saying what to say. I’m not a liar but I don’t get why he wants it so bad.
How do I handle this?
29 comments
You were the side piece. Tell the truth
how would lying benefit you? tell the girl that he’s begging you to lie to her and send receipts. time to cut that string loose. you deserve better than that.
Why would you EVER consider doing this ass a favor? He is so full of shit it’s unbelievable. Tell the truth and nothing but, his life deserves to get wrecked. Maybe he’ll learn something.
OP stop talking to him and cut all ties with him and his circle of friends.
To that poor girl, if she does contact you, tell her the truth and tell her you’re done with this man, she deserves to know the truth before going into that relationship.
You’re handling it well so far. Becareful though, this man sounds like he’s attempting to throw you under the bus by denouncing you as a liar and destroying your reputation in the process all so he can save his own self-image. If he contacts you again and tries gaslighting you; remember: he’s the cheater who started all of this and not you.
Let’s rephrase his question for clarity. What he is asking is, “Can you please destroy your good reputation to allow me to try to save by bad reputation?”
To answer your questions:
* He cares more about the other woman than you. Otherwise he wouldn’t ask you to sell out your reputation.
* He cares more about his own reputation than yours.
* His ranking:
1. Himself
2. The other girl
3. You
With all that in mind, are you ready to degrade yourself for him?
In my experience, speaking the truth has greater consequences for the guilty than the innocent.
Literally just block him, why the *hell* would he think you’d lie for him???
Tell him to pound sand.
Make screenshots of those messages and send them to her and his friends. That should shut him up pretty quickly.
Don’t lie for people op. You wont like where it takes you.
FIRST AND FOREMOST…..you need to get a complete STD panel done asap
Then…send him the following text
*Look, I am not going to lie to cover for you. As far as I am concerned, after I get an STD test and I am 100% in the clear, I don’t want anything to do with you. So here’s the deal. I have screenshots that prove that I am not a liar. I can prove that I had no idea that you were dating multiple women. So if you think for a single second you are going to go around telling people that I am a liar or that I am crazy…then you are smoking crack. Because if a single person accuses me of being a homewrecker or some crazy liar, I will make sure everyone you know gets those screenshots. Being a cheater is one thing. Begging your unwitting side piece to cover for you is a whole different level of scumbaggery and I think you will find it will permanently alter the way people view you as a human being.*
*You did what you did. You can either be an adult and own it, or you can tell everyone I am a liar and then have me expose you in front of the entire world. If I were you, I’d just tell people that you cheated, you never told me you were seeing someone else, you allowed me to believe we were in an exclusive relationship…and that neither me or any of the other women you are sleeping with deserved it. That is the only way out of this for you.*
*Lose my fucking number*
From reading how you’ve responded in the comments you obviously only have feelings for him because he chose someone else.. that’s what you call Ego! He’s trash you deserve someone sooooo much better! Who cares who he cares about more! Care for your damn self more and realize he has ZERO respect for you and you were just easy pussy to him.
What a piece of garbage human! He showed his true colors. Don’t lie for him and definitely don’t fall prey into thinking he wants to lie to salvage your relationship with him. You deserve better and so does that girl.
Nah.
You don’t have to cover his ass for him.
He is entitled, shady, a liar, and a cheater. He *used* you, has betrayed someone who believed he was committed to her, and now he’s doing a number on your self esteem.
You did the right thing by telling her the truth. You owe him nothing. He betrayed you! Just because he treated you dirty doesn’t mean you are dirty. You have moral standards. You are a kind person. Betrayal shakes a person to their core, but he hasn’t taken anything from your value as a person other than wasting your time.
BLOCK him. He’s a liar that doesn’t deserve any more of your mental energy.
DO do something nice for yourself. Whatever makes you feel pampered, relaxed, safe. It’s not a total bandaid, but totally cut him out of your life and love yourself as you are. You got duped by a loser, and that can happen to anyone.
Get yourself a commitment from someone and you also be committed to that person. It’s not as easy as sleeping around with anyone you like, but it sure is a lot safer and a whole lot less complicated.
Is not that he cares more about her, he cares about himself and his reputation, nothing else, if she was a priority above you, then he would have stopped seeing you since they started their relationship.
Remember he was/is cheating on her too.
Lying about the fact that he cheated is only going to affect you, so just cut ties with him and be happy that relationship ended.
Tell her the truth and block this cheating asshole
You keep your integrity, dignity, and self respect intact by being honest. He is hoping your self esteem is low enough to take the fall for him. Bring receipts!!! Fuck that lying, cheating, dirty bastard!
OP his a abusive narcissist. Look up what a narcissistic abusive relationship is, it’s truly hell:/ been thru it . Don’t go thru it please 🙏 ❤️
I would take the screenshots of him asking you to lie about it and send it to the girl. You don’t have to listen to him and lie. He’s not listening to you and your feelings. He made all these choices and he’s trying not to deal the the consequences by involving you to take the heat from EVERYBODY. Imagine running into them as a couple and you have to pretend when all you want to do is cry…FUCK THAT! You deserve a better story. Simply do whatever YOU want. As it is right now, he’s asking you to lie for him. He cheated and wants you to lie. So I would let the girl know, let her and him deal with the consequences of HIS actions, and move on with your life.
I know that you feel slighted, less than, and rejected. But this isn’t about you. This guy doesn’t care about her either. It’s not love. He wouldn’t have cheated on her if so. There is simply something of value that he gets from her and that’s why he’s prioritizing her. It’s not because he loves her. It’s because he’s leeching something from her. It’s about him. Don’t feel bad about not being “chosen”. He’s not choosing anyone. He’s playing a game where he selfishly plays everyone to get what he wants. He’s choosing himself. He’s not capable of a real relationship and won’t be for a long time and I pity the girls that will fall for it. One day, months from now, you will be grateful that it didn’t work out. Although I do think that him acting this way has triggered something unhealed in you. Abandonment, rejection, some kind of wound. Deal with that on your own and heal it so that way no man can ever trigger you into considering that you somehow did something wrong here, EVER again. You are NOT about to get played and then play yourself by becoming a liar. HES the liar, let the lies stay with him. Don’t lower yourself, please. It’s going to be devastating to work through but it will be worked through and you will be okay. Bullet dodged. He may never change and it will likely take decades for him to figure it out. Lesson for you
Easy solution! Block him, tell everyone everything, and then stop caring. Fuck him, he burnt his bridge.
I’ll take things that never happened for $100, Alex.
Don’t lie for him. And say the truth.
He likes her more than you because to him you where just a fling you didn’t mean anything. You need to get a grip and move on he has a gf and he cheated on her. Leave them both alone you’ve done you part by letting her know
Fuuuuuuck him!!!! (Not literally. Anymore) he used the both of you, betrayed you both, not only do you owe him NOTHING, but the hurt you feel now, imagine how she’s gonna feel 3 years down the line when she finds out he lied AND made you lie. She’s an innocent victim of his right along side you.
I’d tell him to fuck off, then tell her he’s been trying to get you to lie, and block him on EVERYTHING and dead all contact. He’s a vile POS and you’re better off not helping him hurt others especially after hurting you.
I also don’t think you now “have feelings for him” because he ‘values her more’ or whatever. I think the rejection of you and him trying to make it work with her was a hard blow to your ego. And I don’t mean that negatively, that’s a shitty feeling to have, been there myself and it does stings. But don’t confuse it for having feelings *for him*.
He is 100% not worth anymore of your energy and you (and his other girl) both deserve SOOOO MUCH MORE and both deserve someone who will cherish you both. And by that I mean 2 separate men individually of course (unless you and her are both into poly that’s totally different story!)
Anyway I would show her his messages trying to get you to lie and then block him on everything. Of course the choice is yours though. Good luck with everything and wish you (and her) the best!
Wooooow do not lie, consult God. The devil is working through him. He must take accountability.
Keep every single message asking you to lie screenshot them all and send them to the other girl and his friends hell send them to his parents to.. then block the AH and be dine with.his lying cheating ass.. but no matter what *DO NOT LIE FOR HIM* all that will do is make everyone think of you as a crazy liar and that will follow you around like a bad smell for years
He doesn’t care about that girl more than you or he wouldn’t have cheated. He cares about no one but himself.
I’ve got good news. He doesn’t care more about that girl. Than you. But I’ve got bad news too. He cares more about himself and his reputation than any of you
He doesn’t value her more, he values himself more.