I know it’s not socially normal to ask people out in public spaces, esp as a woman, but I am so sick of online dating. It’s not fun, it’s draining, the quality of guys are questionable. I’ve had such mediocre and negative experiences from it that I’d rather embarrass myself in person than spend my precious energy online.

Today I saw a really attractive guy at my cafe and we met eyes — he left before I could say anything but it really motivated me to seek out people in spaces that I already visit often. Just wanted to say it because I get embarrassed doing it, but it also makes me feel alive! Why not!

I’ll post updates if there’s interest / if there’s anyone else who wants to do it with me, let me know. (:

Edit: I’ve done it a few times before and the one guy was deaf and the another guy was gay 😂 but looking back it was still way better than OLD

Edit 2: Ok, I’ll post updates as it comes. Would Reddit be the best for now? I want to encourage others to do the same (in a respectful way to others of course) & increase quality connections!

36 comments

  1. As a guy that approaches tons of women I support you and wish you luck in your journey

  2. Do it! I love seeing stuff like that. I’ve done it and yes I’ve been giving the I have bf line while I’ll take that any day or a straight up no haha. I just thank her for her time and move on with my life lol. At first it was nerve wrecking but after my couple of fails and denies I kept trying and eventually a young lady gave me a chance.

  3. 32m here, if a woman has the guts to approach me and ask me out, I will take her very seriously, even if shes a woman who didnt initially catch my eye.

  4. Good for you OP

    I downloaded tinder back in 2015 I think I used it for 15 mins and then I deleted it. Never used it again I downloaded it a year ago when I got my new phone didn’t even go to the upload photos part before I was like nah.

    I also hate the whole online dating thing.

    I hope more and more people cone to the realisation that it’s better to meet in person and have actual connection than to be on this mindless train track our generation is on.

    It also devalues human interaction because people are so replaceable and the conversation is so abundant.

    You’re a brave woman for doing this few would so hats off to you!

  5. Good for you!

    Just be prepared to accept rejection gracefully. It’s incredibly painful at first. Also, expect a lot of guys to reject you even if they might be down, simply because a woman asking them out is so alien to their experience.

  6. I too hope that more women start to do this, I’ve given up on online dating also, worst thing to happen to society

  8. Online dating apps just need to perish, they’re terrible in every sense imaginable.

    Let’s normalize more of what you’re suggesting.

    If you like someone, approach them and say hello. Locking eyes isn’t enough though, you’ll actually have to go and approach.

  10. Don’t blame you, online dating is horrible, recently came to this conclusion myself after someone I arranged a date with canceled it when I told her I was bi and I’m just tired of these apps in question and of nothing progressing through online dating as a whole

  15. It’s totally socially normal to ask people out in person…. That’s how people have been doing it since the beginning of human existence.

  16. AWESOME! Can’t wait to read about your adventures, please do keep us updated. I expect this to be a fun, yet informative chronicle. Off you pop.

  17. Online dating sucks..and you never match with someone from your area..always afar from you..and if you are not shy to talk to random people directly then yeah you can do well I guess..

  18. I avoided the online dating scene and went straight to attempting to meet someone offline. I checked out a board gaming bar and met an amazing woman. We picked up a very awkward third wheel and played a game together. We got to experience firsthand a bit of what we were each like and how we interact with other people and there wasn’t too much pressure for anything else if we didn’t get along. I didn’t get her number the first time, but I did get her to agree to come back to play another game on another weekend. Eventually I got her number.

    I would suggest going somewhere that you can possibly do something you would like to do even if you are alone. If you like rock climbing, go to a gym. If you like board games, go to a board game bar.

    Approaching someone is awkward. Try coming up with a question you can ask before you approach them, even if it is something you’re pretty sure you already know the answer to. “Do you come here often?” is such a cliché question to ask that he’ll probably know exactly what you’re doing and you can have a laugh about it. Speaking from experience as a man, literally best thing you can do to potentially start a relationship is give him your attention for a minute.

  21. Girl I read that first sentence and when in the world is it not socially acceptable to ask people out in public spaces? Online “dating” is generally speaking TRASH. It’s always WAYYYY less awkward, give it a go. Good luck 🖤🖤🖤

  23. What’s a good way to ask someone if they’re single without asking them directly?

  24. I have given up on online dating as well! Love this!!! Definitely better chances of meeting someone in person. Plus you can see if you click in real life.

  25. Hehehe yeah, I’ll do it with ya!

    But seriously. I am completely on the same trip. Deleted my OLD profiles in disgust and disappointment last week after years of going back to that well. Something has changed this year though, and I can no longer find any joy in using them. So, like you, I am headed out into the wild blue yonder to polish my game on the unwitting female population of my local area…good luck!

  26. Go you!

    Online dating is a scam, so your negative experiences are a result of being scammed by the online dating industry anyway. It has zero to do with you as a person.

    The only way to meet people is in real life.

  28. Look at the Pear ring. I just got mine. It’s a social experiment where single people wear it and it means they are open to being approached and meet people irl!

  29. >Just wanted to say it because I get embarrassed doing it, but it also makes me feel alive! Why not!

    Yeah i like this take – i want to do it to as what doesnt kill ya makes ya stronger. And top it off dont have to think about apps anymore!

  31. As a guy, if a girl came up to me and did that, I’d be complemented as hell.

    Also—a recommendation: try to see if there are speed dating events in your area. Those are a better alternative to online dating and everyone has the same agenda at those events…to date.

    Good on you for cutting out the toxic mess of online dating. It is a shitty time.

  32. I love what you are doing! I gave myself more confidence by just talking to people everywhere…like commenting in something funny in the checkout line, waiting for the bus, in the elevator lol. People really are just wanting to connect in person. I love just chatting to everyone and if a guy happens to ignore me then I’m like meh who cares!
    Good luck 🥰

  33. I’m a 27 year old female too and I’m tired of how the whole dating apps system works too! Wishing you the best of luck 👏☺️

  34. there is nothing wrong with asking out in person. However, you don’t know if that person has a gf or is married? You are starting from zero . I sincerely wish you the best.

  35. There needs to be some sort of in person matchmaking event. Online is hard but in person seems impossible

  36. Good for you and hopefully more people hop onto it. I can only conclude that OLD, and indeed a lot of social media for that matter, is really just one of the worst things to happen to us for culture. It’s awful, it alienates us from reality, and it warps our expectations severely.

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