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Try to find out what triggers both and then see if there is a healthy way to use what is currently most useful. I would guess there are downsides to the confident mode too, like caring less for how people around you feel, being less able to have compassion or concentrate on someone’s emotional problems.
You should build natural confidence through working on your goals. Even if the goal isn’t related to social skills, the confidence will spoil over into that.
For me, it’s realizing that fear is just that, fear. Fear is an emotion that protects us from threats, but sometimes, the threat is nonexistent.
My trick is I have a ticktok account with just standup comedy clips. It really puts me in the right mood. Other than that there are no magical buttons for confidence besides drugs.
I stop for a second. Run my palm over my face top to bottom and get into character.
I have this weird thing where my confidence goes 10x when it’s about helping someone. It’s almost like I dgaf about most things and only get confident if I really care about something/someone.
That aside, “fake it till you make it” is a solid strategy.
Also, make sure that you don’t act too confident because you might run the risk of coming off as too cocky.