How do I not vomit when sucking dick? It’s triggering for me because I was assaulted in the past and it’s making blowjobs really gross for me. My partner pushes my head to have all of his dick in my throat which inevitably makes me vomit. He is aware it’s a trigger for me but isn’t able to stop himself. My eyes get all teary and I’m sick after. Is there a way to get him to stop or at least not throw up?
34 comments
You are still being assaulted, this time by your boyfriend.
“Isn’t able to stop himself” is like saying he’s not able to not rape you. Ehhh.. bad excuse bud. No means no. Also when you’re a couple.
If you told him no, he needs to control himself. Otherwise it’s a sexual transgression and could be classified as rape.
You told him not to do it right? If you did, you don’t have any more responsibility here. It’s his responsibility to not break your boundaries. It’s on him.
>My partner pushes my head to have all of his dick in my throat
Don’t put up with this. The next time you got a boy doing that to you and you’re not into it, hit him with something like, ‘You know I could just *not* suck your dick instead, right? Is that what you want?’
And if he keeps doing it, you need to actually stop. The growth that you need to find within yourself is the ability to advocate for yourself and both assert and enforce your boundaries.
On the flipside of this, I know a lot of women are turned on by the idea of things like this. The idea of a man taking full control in a sexual situation and using their body as he sees fit. If there are things about this that do turn you on, and you do want to improve at them, there are videos all over YouTube that can provide tips on deepthroating and suppressing your gag reflex.
One tip I’ve seen thrown around commonly is to grab and squeeze your thumb within your fist. And I literally just tried it sticking a finger down my throat and while it didn’t completely eliminate the reaction, as soon as I let go of my thumb, I experienced the much stronger reaction that I’m used to.
But it’s the first thing first. Don’t put up with a boy who’s pushing past your limits and using some lame excuse like he ‘isn’t able to stop himself’.
Yes there is a way… Dump your shitty boyfriend!
You told him, and he continues to do it. What dude does that?! I’ll tell you who- a guy that doesn’t give a shit about you and is a self-centered narcissist. You’re heading down a path of abuse. Right now it’s just sex. But very soon he’s going to become a complete abuser – physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally.
Move on while you can
The easiest way to not vomit when sucking dick is to drop your boyfriend. What he’s doing is assault. “Can’t help himself” is a bullsh!t excuse. If he cared about you, he would be able to help himself and respect your boundaries and trauma.
Go to therapy to process your trauma please. Also, cease any triggering sexual activity until you process your trauma. Signed, a trauma therapist.
Say: “honey, BJs are triggering memories of past trauma for me, I’d really rather we didn’t do that”. Then he’ll either say: “gosh babe, I hadn’t realized that, even though we’ve talked about it before. Let’s not do BJs any more.”
Or he’ll say, “um, ok” – and forget within 5 minutes, because making you throw up when you’re trying to please him is his idea of positive dominance and he gets a sick kick out of it.
Seriously, your past trauma is waay more important than his BJs.
The way to stop vomiting when sucking his dick is actually by breaking up with this stupid sack of shit. He knows its a trigger for you, yet still forces your head down because he “can’t control himself” please.. he’s assaulting you and trying to make an excuse.
“Isn’t able to stop himself” yes the fuck he can. I’d bite his sick next time he did it. I have a HUGE gag reflex and sometimes I just can’t give bj’s. My bf is understanding, he also will push my head down sometimes but if I can take it I let him, but if I can’t he doesn’t do it again.
Bite his dick. I bet he stops then.
But to answer your other question: breathing thru your nose helps gagging. I learned that at the dentist bc they couldn’t even put tools in my mouth w out me gagging.
Wtf. He can’t stop himself from making you relive your trauma? If you don’t like it but he wants it then tell him there has to be compromise otherwise just bite his dick and let him know you don’t like it
Lol. Dump him.
Every man has control of his hands.
I love getting blowjobs and yet I’m fully able to stop myself from pushing my girlfriends head down. Don’t make excuses for that and dont except them.
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Best solution is to STOP sucking His dick. He also might have a fetish/kink whatever You call it of making You throw up while sucking His dick. The fact that HE KNOWS and still pushes Your head down is bullshit in My book. If My Wife is giving Me a really good bj and I push Her head down and She says She don’t like that then that’s it and I don’t do that again. I can control that and Him saying He can’t is a blatant lie.
You break up with him
Isn’t able to stand himself??? Seriously? Girl you need to leave him. Have some dignity, common sense and self love.
Yes he can stop himself. He is being selfish. If you insist on doing this with this person, then stop sucking when he does this or bite down firmly when he does this. The real solution is to stop giving him head and to leave him for disrespecting your boundaries.
In over 30 years of receiving blow jobs I have never once pushed a woman’s head down. Your boyfriend needs to stop pushing your head down or you need to stop giving him blow jobs – if either of those result in you getting a new boyfriend so be it.
Forcing a sexual assault victim to do ANYTHING is really fucked up. Really fucked up. Make hard boundaries to protect yourself, and kick him the fuck out if he doesn’t respect them.
Also, therapy. It’ll save your life.
“Isn’t able to stop himself” is not a thing. He’s perfectly capable. He just cares more about his dick than you. This guy is assaulting you, which is even more horrific than it would normally be since he knows you’ve been through this before and have trauma.
I absolutely love skullfucking, pushing heads down, all that rough bj stuff. My girlfriend was assaulted in this way a long time ago, and also has a strong gag reflex. How many times do you think I’ve gotten rough with her? ZERO. In 2+ years, it’s never happened once. That’s because I care about her mental and physical health more than my fleeting sexual pleasure. It’s not hard. Literally all I have to do is not do the thing her r**ist did. Not that that’s the bar. Regardless of the assault, I would never do that to a woman who didn’t want it anyway.
Your boyfriend is assaulting you and doesn’t give a shit about you or what you’ve been through. He doesn’t have to do it. Every single time, he has a choice. And he chooses to hurt you. You know what to do. Get rid of this prick.
I also have this issue and I’ve told my boyfriend to not push my head down even though that’s his FAVORITE thing and you know what he doesn’t do? Push my head down farther than it can go. Dump your shitty boyfriend.
Not great advice but —I would personally begin to bite down just enough to make it hurt and scrape it against my teeth everytime he did it and be “unable to control myself” until he got the message. But seriously, kick him to the curb. He isn’t respecting you and doesn’t seem to care about your well being.
Jesus, coming from a male this is disgusting what he is doing. I’m sorry you feel you need to put up with this. He is assaulting you. You need to run.
That’s still assault, he can help himself, he’s saying that so that he can pin the blame on you for “not being able to handle it” run before it gets worse and find someone who has at least a sliver of respect for you
He is able to stop himself. I’ve been with my partner 16 years and never once has he violated me even when he’s at the edge of an orgasm desperate to cum if I said stop he would stop.
Seriously stop having sex with this person. He’s happy to make you vomit for his pleasure even when you want to stop.
RUN, youre a fleshlight to him
My wife has zero trauma related to this, it’s something I could likely do during our sessions if I wanted to. It’s really only something a penis owner should do by request IMHO.
Anytime you restricted access to oxygen to someone else, there should be a ton of stuff like being absolutely sure the one down there consents, is ready for you to do it, and has tap out/safe word logistics in place for when it may be too much. That’s what it would take for me to push my wife’s head down during oral and we’ve been together for almost thirteen years.
That boy is raping you. Flat out. And he enjoys your pain and discomfort or it would never happen. Not even once after your first talk about it.
Please don’t trust him anymore to serve your best interests. It’s very much time to walk away from that one.
As a man I wouldn’t even feel comfortable with you giving me head with that past trauma. I’m sorry you’re going through this
Not being able to stop yourself from cumming is one thing, not being able to stop yourself from forcibly jammin you dick in someones throat til they puke is bullshit.
Handcuff him to the headboard.
Aware it’s a trigger and will not stop…?
THAT MAN IS RAPING YOU
I came here to tell you how to not feel pukey but god, what a dick boyfriend.
It’s not about the blowjob anymore, it’s the fact that he doesn’t care about your past and problems.
I totally agree with all the comments that say dump him.
But i just wanted to say.
U can train ur gag reflex by simply putting ur toothbrush at ur tongue on the place where it feels a little bit uncomfortable but not much. If u do it more and more u will be able to put the toothbrush further in ur mouth.
But please dump him. He doesnt deserv such a thing.
Isn’t able to stop himself…bull shit.