So my boyfriend lost his virginity to me, and we’ve been trying to figure things out since I’m also new to this, having had sex only once with an ex.

I enjoy giving him blowjobs, and he really likes receiving them too. However, the issue arises when it comes to sex itself. I’ve tried riding him, and I can grind for 15 minutes, but it doesn’t seem to be doing much for him. We’ve experimented with different positions, and sometimes he cums, while other times he doesn’t. He even admitted to faking orgasms with me.

When we discussed these problems, he mentioned that he might not find me sexually appealing, possibly because I’m his only sexual partner so far.

Ever since he said that it has been bothering me a lot, and I don’t feel comfortable in my own body. I know the type of females he finds attractive: those with big boobs, big butts, and a bit of chubbiness. As for me, I’m overweight with small boobs, and my butt is okayish, I guess. Maybe I should work on it?

He has told me I look pretty, but I wonder if he’s only saying that because I’m his girlfriend. This comment has definitely affected my self-confidence, especially since I struggle with eating an eating disorder

14 comments
  1. I know you have limited experience with dating and sex, but Im telling you right now there’s a LOT better matches out there for you. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who said this.

  2. Sure work on yourself, lose weight if you are ovdrweight, thats never bad thing. But i mean come on, he cant cum because he finds you not attractive? Thats just BS. I think its his issue and has nothing to do with you.

  3. I dealt with a marriage for 10 years with a man who told me he wasn’t attracted to me. I should’ve left the moment I was told that and regret it. I wasted 7 years of my life.

  4. maybe your boyfriends projecting his insecurities onto you,i’m sure he wouldn’t be with u if he didn’t think you were beautiful, but if that’s not the case maybe spice it up and try blindfolds or buy some new lingerie, if you feel confident in yourself 100% he will enjoy it.

  5. Ok im a dude, and tbh even if I don’t find a women sexually attractive I can still easily have sex and get off, especially if I was getting a blow job first. The issue is more then that I can guarantee.

  6. >When we discussed these problems, he mentioned that he might not find me sexually appealing, possibly because I’m his only sexual partner so far.

    That sounds like an excuse for wanting more sexual partners.

  7. Was told the same after 6 months of high frequency and mutually engaged sexual contact.

    Sometimes immaturity leads people to hint instead of openly stating they’re not that into you, just so they feel better about themselves.

    What you do is kick this character out of your life, and find someone who welcomes you as you are.

  8. I don’t get why people say and deal with shut like this. There are tonnes of men available…. there are men who prefer chubby or fat women. You are young, but you will not always be. Don’t waste your time when your body is in the best condition it will be… you feel like shit with this guy now. He said he may not be started with you. That is not normal or healthy for a relationship and won’t get better. Spend your time finding a guy that will make you feel good in your skin and prefers your body type. Don’t waste any time with men that make any comment you don’t like or that don’t make you feel good. You don’t need to.

  9. He’s not attracted to you. Don’t date someone who’s not attracted to you…

  10. There’s no reason why he had to tell you this, unless he wanted to make you feel bad.

  11. ew, just move on, he doesn’t sound worth the trouble. might be gay.

  12. I hope you find someone who is attracted to you. Time to move on.¹⁰⁰

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