If this gets anything I can add/edit the full story if interested…. But here is the short version….
10th grade (2013?) she came to my small town school in maryland quite possibly the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen in my entire life. Every hormone filled guy hit on her that day and luck would have it she rode my bus that I got switched to for another reason.
I asked her number multiple times and she finally gave it to me and that’s how the story started. The usual small high school drama but all and all we hit it off and had an ok relationship from then to senior year and even after. Her family was amazing and I still have a relationship with them today and do some work for on the side.
FFW 6 months after high school we broke up that summer.
I moved to college in another state and got a couple jobs to get me through. At this point we broke up for multiple reasons (I can include on a longer version if interested) and it’s been 2 years. The store I worked out played her songs a lot on the radio and I always wondered if she thought about me and of course I would think I was crazy the most gorgeous girl worried about some fool what a crazy concept. But as fate would have it a text from that girl towards the end of one of mine and my gf and her and her bf (different) relationships and she had same experience at her job (radio playing my music)
Turns out we were good at thinking of each other at same time. We tried again and we had quite possibly one of the most fun times of my life but it didn’t last as the same issues from high school have worsened (details can come if needed it is indeed a wild story) and we separated for the last time I’m thinking….
FFW 4 years
I’m out of college have a career getting on my feet and have been dating an amazing woman for past 2.5 years. Still do work for her family but have not contacted any ex out of respect for my gf. But I would lie if I wasn’t curious. Her birthday just passed by (June 22 it is June 23rd at 00:16 as I’m writing this) and I would be lying if I didn’t try to keep tabs on her to make sure she is doing well.
Facebook is not something I use but I see some pictures of her and can tell by her eyes she still has her same habits but seems to be enjoying life and that is all
I can hope for her. Her name is Sara (she will never see this anyway) and I do miss her but as I have got older I learned a valuable lesson from our relationship.
TL;DR No matter how much you love someone, if they don’t put in same effort or your feelings in account, even if she/he is the one, it is ok to let it go it will hurt the rest of your life (or Atleast longer than 4 years)but Atleast you have your peace of mind and there may be someone more suited for you as my situation now. Never apologize for trying to make the best decision for your be strong.
Sara if by some miracle you do see this happy belated birthday and I hope your doing well. Sincerely, that kid
12 comments
After reading this I feel super sorry for the girl you are dating. You are still thinking and keeping tabs on your ex. You are even writing a reddit post to her. You may have “left your soul mate” but you are still obsessing over her.
Hope you can open your heart to other people. She obviously had her chance and skipped out. Time to let it go
It’s hard but it’s ok because I had to leave my soulmate tonight too!
How is she your soulmate? You’ve had a high school fling and a college fling, had fun, and didn’t work out. Why can’t you let her be a good memory?
I don’t believe in soul mates. There are billons of people in the logic tells me that for sure there is a better match for you out there.
Your poor girlfriend. She’s a human being, not a consolation prize.
Why use ‘soul mate’ and ‘the one’ to describe a high school sweetheart like that? Why shackle yourself to a nostalgic and idealised version of a relationship that multiple times fell apart? How can you call a relationship that failed that many times ‘the one’ to begin with, it really makes no sense to me.
Like for a guy who claims to be moving on you are basically arguing ‘the universe said it is okay for me to obsess about my ex forever so its cool’ and all that. Your poor partner likely will never appreciate how much real estate that ex takes up in your head, it is your partner that I hope sees this post if this is how you frame it all.
If you really want to move on stop pretending that girl is magical. She wasn’t, the relationship wasn’t, etc.
Hmm… I have a prediction.
You will experience emotional turmoil with your current gf sometime in the future.
We will put your strategy about walking away from people and not investing in them if they don’t reciprocate to the test.
I’m not sure why you even look into what she’s doing even though you have walked away. Curious? You’ve got a girlfriend to be curious about.
Do you know why you think about her? You obviously still have feelings.
You didn’t talk about why you separated.
Whatever did happen, have you ever healed from that?
Did you ever see where you added your part to the demise of the relationship so you can see if it’s something you want to carry forward into any relationship after her?
So, you don’t have a question, you just wanted to write this weird fantasy post about the girl you used to date. While you are in a committed relationship of 2.5 years.
Add this one to one of the times where I wish the partner of the OP could read this and see how their partner really feels about them. God.
You’re what, 22? The loves of your life are all ahead of you. This is just limerence and nostalgia taking the wheel. You need to let her go as as soon as you can.
Holy shit dude, you had a highschool fling with a girl and a few hookups. Thats not a soulmate man, get a grip. Its also really shitty of you to keep doing this while dating another woman.
>can tell by her eyes she still has her same habits but seems to be enjoying life
Thats just downright creepy thing to say.
You need some therapy bud.
Except you haven’t really let her go. The very least you need to do is either explain this to your current gf and get counselling, or break up and get counselling.
You are the very person I dread for my daughters – the guy who is going through the motions of a relationship but always with someone else in the back of their mind.
You might have physically parted, but you are not completely detached from this girl in the emotional realm.