We’ve been dating more or less for about six months, but have been long distance for the most part while I finished up school. he had a crush on me for a few years before we started dating, which i always thought was really sweet and romantic. it’s been a little over a month since we’ve been together in the same city, and i feel like i have to initiate everything in terms of dates and hanging out. sometimes i just feel like we’re still just fwb’s honestly (because that aspect is great!), and it really hurts my feelings, which i’ve expressed. i’ve asked for things like flowers (which makes me feel a little girly and embarrassed, but i’ve gotten him flowers so i don’t think it’s pushing roles on anyone) and he’s never done it. i even send links to places i’d like to go on dates, and yet he’s never actually initiated or scheduled anything with me. i always plan dates, and ask if he’s free on certain days, and if i don’t he says he’s sad he didn’t see me ( and yet doesn’t think to ask me to hang out, massively frustrating). i feel kinda dumb thinking he just doesn’t like me, since we’ve been friends for a long time and he’s had feelings for me for so long, but i don’t understand why i’m the only one putting in effort even when i ask for it back. is there something i should be doing??
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tl;dr: boyfriend of six months doesn’t initiate dates or romance, and i’m beginning to wonder if he just doesn’t like me as much as he thought.
3 comments
Have a conversation about this with him , see his reaction for the next couple of days
Does he KNOW he’s your boyfriend?
He has no reason to change his behavior, because you’ve tolerated it for 6 months! SIX MONTHS he’s been getting the cake, the frosting, the roses from the corner and eating it! And you’ve been doing the dirty dishes. Why are you doing all the work?
I bet if you stopped calling, you’d never hear from him again.
You can do better than this guy. just block him and go find someone else. Don’t even bother “breaking up with him” you were never together in the first place.
Since you’ve already talked with him about this more than once, I’d stop making plans, tell him you’re not initiating anymore, and see what he does. If he steps up, great, he’s learned how to be a boyfriend. If he doesn’t step up, that’s sad, but at least you won’t be in a relationship by yourself anymore.
He can like you and still not be worth dating. It’s not a reflection on you, it’s a reflection on him.