So this might sound like a stupid question (maybe it is) but i am 20 (male) and at the moment i am depressed, shy and even have some kind of fear for meeting new people or talking to people (i have a light version of autism) i decided to change my life in every possible way (i really hate myself at the moment) which also means becoming good at talking with women and becoming good at sex (now when i have sex it feels akward and i dont really know what to do and i am even affraid to ask her to something) what would be the best way to get over this and is there somekind of (online or physical) training to get really good at it (the same way prositutes and gigolos are very good at their job) i really want to change things but i just dont know how. In this group you can ignore the background and just talk about the sex as that is what this group is about
4 comments
Kuch nhi ho skta bhai
Research and experiment. I would recommend doing these things primarily if you do not have a consistent partner, if you do, I would try to become comfortable with communicating with your partner about what they do and do not care for. There are plenty of great sites online that help give advice and strategies on sex. One that I tend to look through fairly often is the [Bad Girl Bible](https://badgirlsbible.com/).
No such thing. What works absolute wonders for one woman – or even many women – might fall spectacularly flat with another. Case in point I have literally seen a post here from a woman asking why her partner is so scared to choke her during sex, going on about “not understanding” why it is such a scary thing for him to do for her. First comment on the post was another woman saying “I would literally straight up drop a guy if he put his hand on my throat”.
All you can do is vow to listen to your partners and incorporate what they like as far as you are comfortable and to be open and up-front with what you want and like. Beyond that it is still largely a matter of luck and compatibility.
So, I know you’re asking about this in the context of sex and communicating with women in general, but I would argue that having those as your focus is putting the cart before the horse. Learning to have easy conversations with people in general, and working on the confidence in yourself to have those conversations will go a long way, and those skills will trickle down into your interactions with all people, including women.
Sex to me is about being enthusiastic, communicative, and receptive to the needs, boundaries, and willingness of both yourself and your partner. I don’t really think any sort of worthwhile “training” in the way you’re asking exists, and I would be careful not to be drawn into redpill or PUA communities that claim they can provide those things. Honestly, if there are things about yourself or your life that you want to work on, but don’t know how – therapy. A good therapist is a toolbox to help you with exactly these types of situations. There are even specialized sex therapists, that work with issues like anxiety, fear, or shame around sex, among other things.