I’m not autistic and I’ve never really had a problem wanting to interact with people. I’m a very extroverted person, but recently my sister has started pointing out things I’m doing that might annoy people, or might hurt people that I don’t even notice I’m doing or is a problem. Overall, this has caused me even more anxiety then I normally have, and Im scared that im never going to understand social cues at all. Anyone have advise?
4 comments
You have to think. Use ur brains. No one can solve this for you
Embrace the autism. No but seriously if you’re starting to feel like you have some social issues is better just keep being social just to improve upon them
You started to feel more anxious the moment you started to pay attention to yourself and how you come off. See any correlation ???
Now do the opposite and pay attention to the person you are talking too
Oh my gosh, I get you! I’m not diagnosed with autism but I feel like my difficulty understanding social cues stems from not having great social exposure when I was younger. It’s taken me a long time to figure out how to understand how people signal whatever they’re feeling and the most important point to be aware of is: body language!
I think one of the top things that helped me was reading more books on body language (eg. The Dictionary of Body Language by Joe Navarro- It’s a short read and quite easy to comprehend). For an introvert like myself, I realised I needed to focus on my own body language as well and for that, The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox was a godsend.
I’ve noticed that quite a few extroverts are so engrossed in what they’re saying that they sometimes miss important body language cues that signal whether the other person is uncomfortable/enthusiastic about the topic. It takes some time to build awareness of those cues as well, but try look at the way they’re holding their body, making eye contact with you during your conversation after reading learning more about body language. It’s going to be a little difficult at the start, but you’re slowing going to get there- I feel like I’m slowly making progress on that front, too!
One more thing: I’ve disclosed with closer friends my difficulty understanding social cues and have asked them to let me know if I ever make them feel uncomfortable in any way while we’re interacting and that it would make me very happy if they let me know, and I’ll bear no hard feelings! I’m super thankful for that, too.
There’s a lot more I’d love to add, but this is the gist of it. Hope it helps, and best of luck to you💖