Hey!
So im a bit confused with my current Situation. This guy and me were Friends with benefits for three months. Then I went on holiday and during that time he got drunk and confessed his feelings, sending me a really long feely voicemessage. I told him i didnt want zo talk about that over phone. Few days pass, i think about what to do and decide to give him a chance.
I didnt even consider him relationship-material till then,im a bit further in the aspect of my life plans… so when I got home we got together to talk. He told me he wasnt so sure about it all anymore and needed some time. I was like sure ‚okay‘.
Then a few days later i basically told him that we should put off the romantic part until he is sure about it.
We saw each other two times after that over a longer timespan since i got surgery.
I wasnt feeling very well and during that time he basically pulled away.
I felt like i needed a bit more comfort/love and texted him more.
At this point my anxious attachement may have kicked. I didnt do anything that crazy, asked him if anything was wrong, which he denied… but I feel like that didnt help building attraction.
A few days later we meet and he tells me just wants to be friends. At that moment it was kind of okay for me but a few days later thinking about it it was kind of painful for me and i tell him that maybe we shouldnt be friends. He was quite hurt by that and basically convinced me not to break off the contact. I told him i‘d need some time till we can be friends.
Later we kind of talk about it and he says that hearing me be sad about it kind of breaks his heart and he wishes he wouldnt have lost his spark bc in his eyes we‘d be a perfect match. He was really nice and understanding about everything.
So now we‘re on quite limited contact.
I feel like i completly blew it… likely just take the hit and accept that this wont ever move beyond being friends. My plan is definitively to sort my own feelings and get back to doing the things i love before we meet up again 🫠
But like, tell me reddit, is there any chance to salvage this?
Im a teensy bit annoyed that he was the one who ruined our very fun arrangement and now im hurt but THATS LIFE.
I was totally feeling fine and like my life finally got in order before that, but this kind of shows that i still have a long way to go.