My mum hasn’t been going to work close to a month now since she’s taking care of legal issues pertaining her divorce with my dad. And it’s my break from school. I take up a difficult major and the break from school while waiting for my results have been very much anticipated by me.
I prefer being alone mostly and prefer spending time with other people once I’ve had some alone time. I was fine initially and understood that she needs to take some time off work and have a breather. For a little context, my mum is usually back around 8pm so i mostly have time alone at home. My dad doesn’t live with us.
However these days when she’s at home (It’s almost been more than a month), I don’t get to spend time for myself at all. I can’t watch my favorite shows or order in food and just have some quite time. Sometimes I just wanna cry over things that made me feel sad. I also can’t take a nap or don’t feel comfortable sleeping in because she always has something to say.
On top of that, my uncle is also living with us which I dislike since even though he doesn’t make me uncomfortable about clothing and all that, I do feel the need sit “ladylike” around him. He’s a great person don’t get me wrong but despite us giving him his own room to lodge at, he insists on sleeping in the living room. Sometimes i like working on my drawing, playing games or watching the tv but because he wants to sleep there… I can’t do that now and instead have to watch my shows on my laptop on my room.
Most times I feel like a bad person for wanting some privacy other than when it’s time to go to bed which causes me to stay up and like i said earlier… I can’t sleep in.
Moreover, I have no idea how long he will be living with us and why my mother never bothered to check in with me to ask if i’m okay with all this. I don’t want to be rude but I have hinted sometimes how i don’t really like all this but she never seems to bother.
I’ve often times been mostly alone as I’m the only child but I do have a somewhat healthy social life. I’m unsure as to how I am supposed to adapt to all this. Does this make me a bad person? How do I solve this issue without sounding rude
TLDR: I want some privacy and have some time alone.
1 comment
You’re not a bad person for wanting alone time. But you do need to have some perspective here too. Your mother is going through a divorce and likely struggling with a lot. That’s not quite on the level on not getting to order in food. You’re 20 and you’re fortunate to have a family who still supports you. A lot of people get chucked out at 18 (me). It is still your mother’s house. So if she’s home more because she’s not working, that’s her call. And if she chooses to let your uncle stay there, again that’s her call. It’s not necessarily her role to check in with you about what she does in her home. I’m sure logically you know this, but emotionally you’re struggling. That doesn’t make you a bad person. You need to find a way to either adapt to the current situation OR find a different situation that works for you. In the meantime, you can talk to your mom about how you feel, but you can’t force her to make different decisions about her own home. Wanting to be alone is okay. Communicating with your mom is okay. But empathy for your mother and respect for her home is important too.