We’ve been trying to have sex with my girlfriend for a year. We do everything but penetration.
She is a virgin (never did anything sexual before). I have a lot of sexual experience from my side.
Everytime I try, it hurts for her. I can manage to put a finger, even fully, but I have to do it very slowly with a lot of lube.
I think we 50 times and I have 2 issues:
1) it hurts everytime so she asks me to enter slower. But her vagina is so tight I can’t even enter (I would need to “force” it but I’m afraid I’ll hurt her)
2) I can’t even find the vagina sometimes lol. Never had this issue before but I’m going very slow as I don’t want to hurt her (entering almost millimeter by millimeter) and my thing kind of “slips” outside. Maybe because the vagina is so tight.
I manage once to enter like 1 or 2cm… but that’s it.
Any tips? I tried to use a lot of lube and foreplay but it doesn’t help that much.
I thought about putting a pillow under her hips to facilitate the angle (she’s super tense so her pelvis is tense as well, it doesn’t help with finding the right angle)…
10 comments
Have you tried her being on top. So she can manage the angle, speed, And depth.
Might look into this:
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15723-vaginismus
you can try doggy style, she will be more dilated and can decide the speed and intensity of penetration
Look at a dilator set for her to use on herself
Buy her a vaginal dilators set. She needs to start with the smallest one to her way up matching your p size.
If she hadn’t visited a gynecologist, she needs to. Some women’s hymen are atypical, including my own and two of my family members. There are also atypical vaginas. She may need a hymenectomy (I did) or some other treatment.
https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/conditions/vaginal-anomalies
Are you doing foreplay and rushing it just for the sake of getting penetration? Are you taking time, really relaxing her or just rubbing her a little, kissing her, and then 15 mins later trying to shove it in?
Has she had a pelvic exam by a doctor? She could have a perforated hymen. This can be “cured” by surgically removing it. Wouldn’t hurt to ask!
I was in a similar situation and for me it got way easier when he had made me orgasm first with his hands and mouth because then I would be more open and wet down there from the stimulation and orgasms. Before the penetration use lots of lube. Then what worked best for me was when I was on top of him and slowly sat down on him getting him inside at my own pace and taking small breaks and remembering to breathe while he would gently kiss me, caress me and tell me loving words to help me relax and not tense up too much. By relaxing and doing it at my pace I got him inside and then we just chilled like that with me lying on top of him:)
We tried to practice this once a day just getting him inside at my own pace and it really improved and got easier and I got better at relaxing. And we got to a point where he could move back and forth and we had piv sex! The practice almost everyday and orgasm first really helped us get there. I wish you the best
How old are you guys? And does she masturbate by penetration (fingers or toys)? Is it unbearable to her while you penetrate her with your finger and have it inside or is it a bearable amount of pain? Do you feel any contractions inside her vagina while having your finger inside?