TL:DR: I keep my room very clean but it lacks decorations and I only have 3 pillows which resulted in a break-up. Women redditors is this room thing a red flag to you personally? if so why? For context we were both college students so my room is temporary.
I recently talked to a woman i dated for a month and asked why she broke up with me so abruptly. She responded that she didn’t think our relationship would be healthy because my “living situation made her uncomfortable”. My room is kept very clean but the things she cited were that I had a bedsheet covering my window (I was testing out whether having curtains to keep the light out would help my insomnia), I didn’t have enough pillows (I have 3 pillows, perfectly enough for me to be comfortable) and my room isn’t decorated.
The pillow one I really don’t understand because I don’t really have women spend the night often at all so I only have enough for me and since we were only dating for a month I wasn’t going to invest in pillows quite yet, I told her to bring hers over. My room isn’t decorated just because I’m not a visual person, I don’t care about decorations, as long as it’s clean.
Idk I guess I don’t see how this would be a big motivator to break up with me, she broke up with me right when I said I needed to borrow a pillow from my best friend for me to use while she uses my pillows.
In essence my question for women on here is: is having an undecorated but clean room a red flag to you personally? if so why?
Edit to add: 24M in college, I took down the bedsheet because I determined my blinds were enough. She could’ve just asked why it was up there in the first place
16 comments
No lol….its a red flag if you have women stuff and looks like you are married and cheating on your wife/gf
i was with you until the part about the bedsheet covering your window lol dude just get curtains and buy new pillows. i can def see how this would turn off women especially the bit about asking to borrow your friend’s pillow…
In her eyes, I guess you seemed like a cheapskate. That probably turned her off. Either way, the fact that she broke up with you cause of this, seems like you were not a match.
She sounds insufferable and stuck up tbh.
You dodged a bullet, my friend.
Are you cheap?
The bedsheet does come off weird when black out curtains are an option. The pillows, depending on how old (lumpy or stained) they are or if there’s even a pillow case in them at all (some people don’t have anything on pillows) would be an issue for me just because my skin is sensitive and I need clean pillowcases. Do you have furniture in your room at all? Like is the mattress on the floor or is it in a stand if some sort because I have ended a relationship due to that, it hurt my back too much sleeping on the floor. Do you have any tables or a night stand for charging phones, somewhere to put glasses on or water? I think it just depends on practicality of what’s in your room
I’m a dude, but I’d definitely consider this a red flag. I’d think of my partners room as a reflection of who they are, so if your room has no personality… just bite the bullet and spend like $50-100 on photos and frames of you with your friends, places or things you like, etc. Plus, just get four pillows total and some blinds so that your room meets at least the standards of a cheap motel.
She don’t like broke boys
I can see the bed sheet curtains coming off as immatureish maybe but how many pillows you need. Lol. I only had 2 when I was single. I kept a spare pillow in the closet in case I needed it. Not really into a ton of decorations myself I can’t stand the clutter. Never has it been an issue. Would be a red flag if I went to someone’s house and it was a Horder situation or just nasty.
honestly the opinions of lack of bedroom decorations and/or pillows to me comes off as immature and kinda seeking some sort “Money” based relationship. i mean fuck does it matter if you run a minimalistic room?
Pillow thing seems super random too. I only have one memory foam pillow and it’s great.
I got no pictures or decorations in my room either but, i did get a bit excited during a reno and did a plywood wood and pallet wall with pallet sliding door for the built in wardrobe.
I mean like, how old are you? I understand a young guy like 18-24ish living like this but not a guy older than that.
Well if it is I guess I’m in a lot of trouble, I only get what’s essential to me, I like to keep things minimalistic. I don’t feel the need to express who I am through decoration, the red flag to me would be a girl who judges me over my room rather than my actions.
I also don’t think I could match with someone too extravagant, I like simple things and I don’t think I need to change any of that to please a woman.
I mean, it would be very much a dealbreaker for me cause im not a minimalist and frankly hate that decorating style. I love color and decor. And i sew, crochet, knit, paint, cross stitch, and latchhook so i love to make pillows and blankets and rugs and decor. I would never be able to plan a life with a minimalist.
Im pretty sure i have more stuff for a summer cabin i havent even started building yet than you do in your home.
This is not a red flag at all for a 23 year old college student. My lord people on here are so damn critical. Seriously.You are fine. That girl sounds shallow as hell. Some people would rather spend money on experiences than material things. Nothing wrong with that.
Girls want you to express personality in a lot of different things, but at the same time you should expect the same thing
I mean… it would look like you just dont give a shit about makeing something beautiful and comfortable. If living together i would know it all would be on me to make a nice home that is worthy of haveing guests.
Its very easy to improve fpr little money. Some plants are very cheap and they get bigger in time. Just some very good pictures on the wall can make a big difference. You dont need to overdo it. But… yeah.
Its good that you are clean, but i would really wonder why you dont make your room nice.