I’m a middle aged woman and somehow never learned how to join an ongoing group conversation. I’m talking about groups of acquaintances, not total strangers and not family.
I live in a very social suburban neighborhood…it reminds me a bit of the neighborhood in Edward Scissorhands. I also have kids which means there are a lot of school, sports, and social events that I take them to. Lots of opportunities to look weird and awkward.
I approach a group and give a discreet wave hello, because generally someone else is talking. What usually happens then is no one acknowledges my presence, I stand there awkwardly for a few minutes, and then I give up and walk away. A secondary problem is that even if I think of something to say, I usually can’t get it out before the conversation moves on to other topics.
It seems like the inclusive and welcoming thing to do here would be for someone in the group to throw me a life line and bring me into the conversation. I would do that if roles were reversed.
On some occasions, the group is standing in a circle and they don’t even open up to allow me in.
I’ve considered that this could be a body language issue. I usually stand at arm’s length, face the group, and try not to cross my arms. I do struggle with eye contact, but it’s not as if I don’t do it at all. I look at the person that is speaking.
What could I be doing wrong here?