My love language is physical touch I love everything associated with it and obtain the biggest high from sharing intimacy of being sexual with my wife(F31). It brings me comfort and strength and this cloud 9 unbreakable feeling like I could take on the world and overcome anything.
The downside – relationships go through phases. It’s totally normal and to be expected. When we got together intimacy all day and night after a year nothing hardly for several years maybe once every 3-4 weeks. And I would have to beg for it.
Fast forward to 4 years later I break and we discuss it we fix it(probably not fixed because it broke later again) well then she’s a maniac she’s ravaging me so much 5-6 times a day. Like it was over the top and I was sore but I kept going for 6-8 months.
And then we go back to having sex then to a baby and now she’s pregnant. And of course she’s pregnant so that plays a role in it to and I’m understanding to that 100% but after nearly a decade of highs and lows and mustering through feelings of insecurities.
I mean it really is my love language and it brings me so much comfort and happiness and feelings of love, joy, closeness, it keeps our bond alive it makes me feel secure. Sex to me is almost like a form of communication like a language expressed through intimacy, I believe you know a lot about a person and the deep bond you share by being intimate.
Me and my wife always have amazing sex(for the both of us) it’s not my love language and I’m bad at it. I’m a pleaser I go from her being aroused and cumming.
I’d also be happy with once a week or close to that. I just don’t know if I’m being an asshole.
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I share some similar experiences, though with maybe different problems. I totally understand the hating physical touch being your love language, it can feel almost wrong sometimes. When my wife gets upset at me I feel as thoigh touching her is wrong/will make her more upset, and I’m not talking sexually either just a physical closeness. It can also make me feel selfish as I express my intamcy through touch and it sometimes feels like I’m neglecting my wife emotional needs by “only focusing on sex”. It can be a struggle if your partners language isn’t accommodating to your language.
I think though while it is important to express your emotions the way you feel comfortable it’s also important to communicate those feelings verbally. There have been plenty of times where I have just eaten my wife out or rubbed her to completion with no expectations of anything it’s just want I wanted to do, i wanted to ame her feel good. Though in the past she felt a guilt for not doing anything in return or a sadness for rejecting me if she wasn’t up for it because I wasn’t communicating why/what I was doing.
So just let her know what’s going on, and remember that she might not always feel up for it butvyou can ask and explain where youre comming from. Maybe work out an alternative, or something you can do instead together.
I’m the same way and can’t change it.
Just accept who you are.
Part of what I hear you saying in your post, even if you didn’t realize it, is that you have a trouble controlling your discomfort.
That’s not unusual: most of us have trouble sitting with our discomfort.
However, since you’re trying to be a good partner here and not overwhelm a situation where there’s pretty legit reasons for sex to be uneven (having kids will absolutely be disruptive to most people’s sex live), it behooves you to learn some ways of coping with your discomfort. I found the advice here useful: https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/t0k151/reducing_your_libido/
Physical love language is not just sex. It’s hugging, cuddling, holding hands….
I kinda have a pet peeve when people call touch a love language when in fact it is simply a basic human need. No offense. Just had to say lol