My (35F) mum (65F) can be very manipulating. She is otherwise a great mum, she has always been with me. But this thing here is bothering me.
I have three other siblings and they all have kids, one each. So I’m the only one that don’t have one.
I have a boyfriend (40M), been with him for 3 years, but I’m unsure if I want kids (as is he). Im fully aware that if I want one I need to try very soon.
And it’s fine that my mum has expressed that she wants me to have kids, but she’s saying things about it all the time and the most recent one is that
“Tell Jack (my boyfriend) that if he thinks you aren’t curvy enough he should knock you up”.
I’m naturally slender, not underweight, but very slender. And this comment hurt, I’ve heard enough from people about being really skinny all my life. I eat well and am healthy, it’s not about that.
Also, she will say things that are controlling a lot. If you disagree with her opinions she will say you are brainwashed. Or depending on what it is say how she raised to kids almost alone because my dad was hardly involved with the parenting (my two oldest siblings were born within 14 months of each other). And yes, that must have been tough, but it’s hardly relevant when you talk about politics or other things not related to parenting at all.
She’s doing it so you will feel bad disagreeing.
Tl:Dr
I feel my mum can be controlling and manipulative and
2 comments
The comments were out of bound. Tell her if she keeps harping on about kids and making hurtful comments; you may not ever have one.
“Hey mum, you know the other day how you made the comment about Jack maybe thinking I’m not curvy enough? It’s not ok for you to make comments on my body and you will need to stop that.”
If you think she’ll be upset then add “it’s really important for us to change the way we talk about our bodies so we don’t negatively impact the niece’s/nephews views of their bodies.”
Said calmly, no threats. No ‘or else’.