Being a “Plan B” friend

I’m getting my second uni degree rn and it’s a really intense program. So many students do not mingle a lot with other people outside uni just cause you don’t have a lot of time and even if you find it you basically talk about your work half of the time.

It’s my second year and i made some “uni friends” (people who i interact with only in uni) and 3-4 people who i actually talk to from time to time outside and hang out. But most of the time i just work and when i do not work i read books or watch stupid sitcoms because i’m completely mentally drained.

And now we finally have a summer break (hooray, i have a gazillion retakes anyway) and i noticed that one of those closer “friends” treats me like a plan B now. She made 5 spontaneous plans in the last 5 days and bailed 4 times out of five, not even mentioning it or saying sorry, it’s just like there was no agreement at all. The most outrageous time:

1. She was walking out with her sister and nephew from her place in the morning same time as me (we live in the same dorm, different blocks).
2. Spontaneously joined me for lunch on the spot, i was not the one offering but i wasn’t against it.
3. During lunch suggested that we watch a movie this evening (i’m completely burned out right after exams, just want to lie down in peace with a beer at this point, of course i have zero plans).
4. Told me “she’ll text”.
5. Never texted.

If that was the end of it, i wouldn’t really mind. I met enough people who make 3 plans for the same day and then choose the best one on the spot without any repercussions. I got used to that mentality, some people are like that. But of course it’s not the end of it.

6. So i had a really bad day with changing life mode from constant crunch to some semblance of normal life, playing games while not being able to follow any plot at all, my body is sore from weeks of constant sitting with bad posture, i’m drinking a lot, having really hard time falling asleep.

7. Finally i fall asleep around 2AM after downing like 7 beers.

8. 4:30AM i wake up because somebody is loudly banging on the window of my room (first floor). That’s ma pal, ma friend, ma amigo. She locked herself out and i have a spare key. Not just that, there is another sexy mysterious silhouette hanging nearby. Silhouette isn’t seeing any point in saying “Hello”, apologizing for inconvenience or showing its face. It’s really cool and shadowy, that’s all i’m getting.

So “Plan A” was literally dragged to my window to showcase for some fucked up reason or from outer obliviousness in the middle of the night with me put on the spot (no call beforehand, no text, we straight to the window banging) while i’m drunk and really not in the mood already because she needed my help and OF COURSE THE MOVIE WAS NEVER MENTIONED.

I was completely fucking stupefied. Like i’m either looking at the biggest asshole i’ve met in the last 5 years or the biggest moron, no idea but in either case that’s bullshit.

There were other plans that disappeared but if it wasn’t for that one case maybe i would just ignore it. But that was something out of another world for me. That amount of open agressive disrespect is something new.

It’s not the first person i meet who has this “multiple plan” approach to their free time and i’ve tried talking with those people before. I do feel like it’s their life and it’s fair in a way but now i’m basically forced to confront the person, i can’t even stop interacting with them quietly because they will try to talk to me. I don’t want to lie like i’m busy. Like i’m forced in that position of being an asshole and aggressor who stirs the water.