I was born in 96′ so I was fortunate to have grown up in the era before smart phones. When I was in late elementary-middle school my peers were starting to have flip & slide phones but we still enjoyed each other’s company in real-time and made eye contact, genuinely connected and had fun when we hung out and had conversations.
Ever since the iPhone came out and continued to innovate, then androids etc, I feel like our ability to socialize in person has been negatively impacted. I’m curious to hear others’ take on this.
Here are a few of my observations over the last number of years:
1). Long-ended conversations are somewhat far and few between. Now when you try to sit down and have a conversation with a peer it comes off as too intense and there seems to be an invisible **timer**. Like after a certain amount of time one or the other in the conversation starts to give off vibes that they’ve reached their time-limit on the length of the conversation and it feels a bit awkward. Like they are ready for the conversation to end. The conversations don’t go as deep and are kept surface-level cordial for this reason. It’s hard to explain but it’s just a feeling nowadays. Some people dont like talking at all.
2). Relationships are also kept surface level. I have had people who I’ve tried to keep in touch with and when I try to reach out to them directly the responses are very short and polite but seem disinterested in texting at length. But then when you turn around and post something on social media, they will comment something like “omg you look so gorgeous!” as if you are close. It just feels fake. Like why are you being warm here when over DM you clearly don’t want to have conversations?
3). Eye contact has changed. Now if you make too much eye contact it feels uncomfortable or too intense.
5 comments
Yes, in many cases smartphones have “replaced” real live people.
The best use of smartphones is to supplement your social life, not take the place of it.
Not only smartphones, but technology in general has had both negative and positive impacts in terms of social skills.
For example, a positive would be taking an online (Zoom) course to improve your social skills. Posting on subs like this to help improve also.
Negatives would be things like social media kinda warping our reality in regards to how we interact with people.
I was also born in 1996, but I have to disagree. Social interactions are going to vary person-to-person. I get where you’re coming from where comments on sm appear to be fake (often times they are), but you might just need to meet they right ppl.
Remember: energy-matching is important. If you’re giving it 100% and someone else isn’t matching that— it’s time to move on and find someone worthy of your time. If we’re talking about a new friendship, then it’s important to lay out your boundaries at the start.
That being said— relationships are give and take. You might not be able to put 100% effort into a friendship and your friend might pick up the rest. Just be there for them when the roles switch up.
Born in 1991.
>Long-ended conversations are somewhat far and few between.
Nah, you just haven’t conversed with the right people. For me (and probably introverts), long-ended conversations are a drain. I understand conversation being a side activity (like conversing when doing yardwork), but i don’t understand conversation as a main activity. I have seen people who can just chat the whole day (for me it would be torture).
>Relationships are also kept surface level. I have had people who I’ve tried to keep in touch with and when I try to reach out to them directly the responses are very short and polite but seem disinterested in texting at length. But then when you turn around and post something on social media, they will comment something like “omg you look so gorgeous!” as if you are close.
There is a difference between commenting on something you did and talking about themselves. There were people who were more private before smartphone. But in that time you probably didn’t even had much aviable contact with them.
>Eye contact has changed. Now if you make too much eye contact it feels uncomfortable or too intense.
Dunno, didn’t feel any difference in eyecontact that i make.
The impact i’d say is more that they have more solo entertainment aviable, so they no longer need to converse for the sake of entertainment. And because they converse less, the skill is lower.
I blame money. If getting it was easier, people would have much more free time. They also would take more social risks and be themselves if they didn’t feel precarious in their livelihoods.
I find that a lot of what you describe is people saving up their time and energy for the next big opportunity or reducing the risk of someone harming what they have.