Here it goes..
Tomorrow is my Sisters birthday (F/23, I’ll call her Sally) Sally is throwing a pool party at my parents place. I (F/26) want to bring my BF (25/M) with me. We have a LDR and have been together for almost a year. He hasn’t had many opportunities to get to know my family due to the long distance.
Here is the kicker, my Ex-BF (30/M)(relationship length: 4 years) is going to be there. (Side-Note: he was invited without my knowledge)
He is close friends with my sister, her boyfriend(26M) annndddd with my parents. (At first it was really odd to me that my parents still hang out with him after we went our separate ways but I can understand it from a outward view. He is a good guy and we were together for a long time but I 100% keep my distance.)
I have spoken with my current BF about the situation and although I do believe it made him feel a bunch of different feelings (which I’m sure he still feels) he ultimately understood it too and he is okay with still coming with me to the party. I believe we can be mature about the situation. I’m positive my current BF will feel uncomfortable but I’ll do everything I can to curb that. I also don’t plan on staying for a long time.
My fear is actually my sister and my parents. They have made it obvious that they think me ending things with my ex was a mistake. I also believe they have a sour taste for my current boyfriend due to their slight bias’s and rumors I’m sure they have heard from Sally. (She was witness to a drunken fight me and my current bf had a few months ago, which has longgg been re-visited and worked thru. Nothing violent or harmful occurred. Just high emotions and raised voices.)
The last thing I want to do is make my sister uncomfortable on her birthday, but they didn’t give much thought to my comfortability I don’t want to shy away from giving my current boyfriend the opportunity to get to know my family because of my ex. That wouldn’t be fair to him nor our relationship. I already choose to skip the 4th of July barbecue due to the same exact situation.
But I know for a FACT if I don’t show to my sister’s Party. She will be hurt and They will blame it on my current bf. Thinking he is keeping me from them.
Do I not go anyways? Risk that sour taste they have for my boyfriend to grow deeper
Or
Do we take the high ground and try to be as mature as possible thru it?
I love my boyfriend and he will be a part of my life regardless.
If you made it this far, thank you for the read and I hope all my ramblings made sense lol
5 comments
Sounds like your ex dodged a bullet.
You’re family is trying to sabotage your new relationship. The fact they invited your ex is weird and uncomfortable not only for your bf but for you. I would simply say it’s either him (who’s not part of the family) or me your sister. If they choose him then I would start booking a nice vacay. Cabos is amazing this time of the year btw
I would’ve expected your parents to respect your relationship and emotions over a man whom they may have only known for 4 years? I’d keep the visit short and be respectful but minimal, the longer you stay and the more alcohol is involved the higher the risk some kind of damage is done to your relationships.
Do what makes you happy. And make your family respect your decision and choices. As much as they care about you but I really think you need to make them understand that this is your lifetime partner. Forcing you to live with someone you don’t want is so bad.
>But I know for a FACT if I don’t show to my sister’s Party. She will be hurt and They will blame it on my current bf. Thinking he is keeping me from them.
and she knows (or at least should know) for a FACT that it’s fucking shitty to bring your EX to party!
>They have made it obvious that they think me ending things with my ex was a mistake
that’s none of their business!
how about you and your bf skip that one? :>