Hello all! I’m seeking some advice for any future interactions after todays interaction with the lady who regularly delivers parcels to us.
A few months ago she used to deliver with her (now ex) husband and then soon started to deliver solo.
I didn’t think much to it at first but then today, she had quite a few parcels to deliver to us so I just asked “where’s your partner, is he okay?” And she responded with “Oh we both divorced and now I’m running solo”
Which then leads me to the reason I asked this question is: I responded with “I’m so sorry to hear that”
My response has been bugging me because it sounds like he’s passed away and was the wrong response to a divorce and had me feeling like I was being insensitive.
So was wondering if there is a correct way? Or if that is completely fine.
8 comments
At the end of the day, a break up of any relationship isn’t necessarily a good thing. So it’s probably the correct response. If she responded with, “nah it’s ok, couldn’t wait to get rid of the bastard” then you have a little chuckle and move on with your life.
I think it’s completely fine, I don’t think there is a ‘correct’ way, because you don’t know the backstory.
I tend to go with ‘sorry you had to go through that…’, people can then interpret it whatever way suits them e.g. sorry you married a wrongun, sorry you had the hassle of the process, sorry you split from someone you cared about etc
my response to divorce and pregancy is the same ‘are you happy about that?’ and after they answer, I go from there. Except for when they are clearly showing emotions, then I go with that.
Both, pregnancy and divorce can be good and bad things, depending on who you ask so I like allowing the other person to guide the conversation.
You’ve got to get the tone of voice right, but a half-joking “is that a good thing or a bad thing?” usually works, then respond to the follow up appropriately.
Perfectly reasonable response, given most people do not see divorce as a positive.
What you said was fine. I’m recently divorced and everyone says the same thing on finding out about it. No sweat.
My wife and I separated a couple of years ago, when people found out they’d often say “sorry to hear that”,, to which I’d respond along the lines of “oh don’t be, it’s fine”
I think yours is a perfectly reasonable response and the individual will interpret it however is most suitable for their own situation
I think what you said was absolutely fine. People have said it to me before and it’s a nice acknowledgement. Truth is I was very happy to be getting a divorce 😉