Complicated relationship (long post)

So my (F 21) boyfriend (M21) is a good man. He really is. We’ve been together for two years and a half now. Let me start with the positives.

He is kind and caring, his face lights up with a smile every time he sees me. I am totally confident that he wouldn’t ever cheat on me. He is kind to animals and loves children (I want to have some if my own one day so that’s a big important box to tick for me). He is smart, university smart and street smart. He is funny and has amazing taste in music. I could see myself married to him.

However, our sex life is worse than non existent. We barely have it, and when we do it’s a 10 minute quickie that leaves me unsatisfied and longing for more. The first half year in the relationship it was great. Lasted a lot, foreplay all the good stuff.

But then we decided to move in together. Looking back, I know it was a mistake to do it so quickly, at about the 6 month mark.

However great he may be, he plays computer games as a main hobby. I was fine with it, especially since I used to join him, but now I realize it changed my life. I used to be a creative person, painting and playing the piano and guitar all the time. I used to love sports and reading. For the last year all I did was play video games. Every. Single. Day.

Now I don’t blame him directly for it, it was my decision to join him but I’m starting to resent him for it. Since we moved in together we haven’t been on real romantic dates, haven’t had proper sex in more than a year and a half and I just feel like I’m in a relationship with a roommate. Sure we say ‘I love you’ and hug and kiss. We cuddle at night sometimes. But I feel we’re so disconnected from each other.

It’s gotten so bad I started fantasizing with his best friend. Who is also my very good friend. And before you come at me, I know. I feel incredibly guilty about it, and I am aware that I wouldn’t even like a relationship with his friend. But he is kinder, more caring, more disciplined, goes to the gym, is a really hard worker and he is brilliant in uni. We started going to the gym together because going alone isn’t an option for me and now it’s the hightlight of my day.

Of course we have the classic couple issues, the silly differences about how the dishes should be washed and how should the bed be made. I know those are common in every relationship and I don’t mind them. It’s the games and sex that bother me. He picks games over me, only picks me if I directly ask him to. I want him to pick me even if I don’t tell him to.

I don’t know what to do. I genuinely want to work on my relationship with my boyfriend, but I keep thinking that it can’t be saved. However it’s a much harder decision to make, since we live together, our parents are practically friends with each other, we own a cat together. I still love him and I know he loves me but I’m just unfulfilled.

I keep thinking that relationships have ups and downs, but my biggest issue is the sex. I am a highly sexual person, and to see that he’d rather watch porn than have sex with me bothers me.
And not even good sex at that, although I know he is capable of it!

I am not unattractive. I am a 50 kg, 1.60 m petite girl. I don’t want to sound infatuated but I look pretty good. He didn’t just get with me for my personality. However my self esteem is crashing now that he doesn’t even look at me when I get naked. If we are barely having sex 1-2 times a month at 21, I fear the future…

Am I in the wrong here? I’m aware this is MY side of the story so do take it with a grain of salt. I don’t know what is going on in his mind, not that he would talk about his feelings with me unless I keep asking.

Thank you for reading all of this!