Loosing myself during the relationship. Growing sense of feeling distant.

***Please note that I’m using chatgpt to help me write correctly in english, due to the fact that it’s not my first language. Thanks!***

I’m a 25-year-old guy, and I’ve been in a relationship with my 23-year-old girlfriend for the past four years. For last 2 years I’ve been experiencing a growing sense of losing myself within the relationship, and I could really use some advice on how to navigate this situation.

Unlike many stories I’ve read on Reddit, I’m not necessarily dependent on my girlfriend for my happiness. We don’t engage in a lot of fun activities together, and it feels like we have become very different people compared to when we first started dating. Over the years, I’ve lost touch with most of my friends because I became so invested in the relationship. At that time, it felt like the world didn’t matter, and only the two of us truly understood each other. However, that feeling has faded away, and I don’t feel the same way anymore. On the other hand, she (kind of) feels satisfied with her state of life. The logic is all the other people are dumb, only we can trully see the world how it is. Yeah, maybe people are dumb, but I’d want to experience some of that “dumbness”.

The problem lies in the fact that I’m a more social person than my girlfriend, even though she has more friends than I do. Whenever I try to discuss this feeling with her, I feel foolish. How can I expect us to have more enjoyable activities or complain about our relationship being too introverted when I struggle to find friends myself? Additionally, I feel a sense of judgment from her, which further highlights our differences compared to when we first started dating.

If I were to make new friends, I’m almost certain that my girlfriend wouldn’t approve of them. We have regular discussions about this, and it’s not due to a lack of communication on my part. However, her expectations of life are very different from mine, especially considering her diagnosed borderline personality and reliance on medication. She doesn’t experience FOMO and spends most of her days lying in bed watching YouTube and TikTok. She doesn’t enjoy partying, and also she doesn’t drink alcohot. It’s not an issue, in fact I think it’s pretty impressive. But on the other hand It’s something I’d want more in my life, before I’ll be 30 yr old. And it’s not like she doesn’t drink because she’s worried for her health. It’s just something she believes. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’d want to have much more fun in these years of my life, and then settle down and like have a kid. She also doesn’t want kids in the future. So like her plans for life are mostly without any expectations. I’m having trouble explaining these issues, but we basically have no memories within last 2 years.

This growing sense of distance is becoming increasingly worrisome for me. I’ve started to value different aspects of my life. I’ve realized that time flies faster than I thought, and soon I’ll be waking up as a 30-year-old. I’m not okay with being in a relationship that doesn’t inspire me to become a better person or live an interesting life.

I would greatly appreciate any advice or insights from people who may have experienced similar situations or have suggestions on how to address these concerns. How can I navigate these differences and find a way to reconnect with my partner? This feeling was growing for last 2 years. I’m scared to break up, but I also aknowledge that I might have to do it in order to start being satisfied with my life again.

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**\*\*TL;DR;\*\* I’ve been feeling distant and stagnant in my 4-year relationship with my girlfriend, as we have become very different people over time. Despite having more social tendencies, I struggle to find friends, and my girlfriend’s expectations and lifestyle choices don’t align with mine, making me question the future of our relationship.**