Wife (29) and I (28) are in a lull

4 comments

1. https://sexionnaire.com

2. I’m sure we hit lulls too and it’s fair to say that once we established a sexual set list it pretty much rolled out from there. Still, there would be times where out of nowhere it was amazing. Maybe our horizons were shorter but for 40 years the sex has been consistent and satisfying.

3. role-playing, sex toys, bdsm, fetish of the month, free use, general kinky stuff… whole world of fun sex stuff, if both you and your wife are willing. Go wild.

4. Try not jerking off and see if you like regular sex more. It’s easier to be by yourself but that’s not optimal for the relationship.

   Also, as a woman who was taken advantage of sexually doing things most people are ok with (BJs and HJs, for example, in addition to actual forced penetration), I came into marriage feeling very uncomfortable with doing anything “outside of the box.” I’ve never been able to shake the dirty feeling I get when I’m remotely objectified, and i REALLY don’t like talking about it. It just puts me back into that place mentally. I can’t feel like I’m on display or vulnerable physically so there are very few positions or interactions that are ok with me in sex. In addition to having 3 kids in 3 years and not feeling too sexy. So, long story short, if my husband were to just say to me that he wanted things to be spicier and for me to do xyz, it would shut me down even more because I’m so self conscious already. But if he just took charge and did something new (after warming me up, of course), I would feel like he thinks I’m sexy and I might be into it. If that makes sense…what I’m trying to say is that talking about it might make her feel worse, like she’s not enough. But just taking charge doing the spicy thing you want to do might get her going!