If yes then what kind of topics should I talk about that are not considered too nerdy to understand? I feel like if I start talking about my interests, that would make people super uncomfortable around me but still wanting to listen just to not ruin the mood.
All what I know is related to something that is useful which could be problem since I have a deep intuition that people hate relevant information. I could be wrong too.
I will become interested in anything that is useful so you can suggest convo topics that I should learn for the sake of social skills.
So anyway all my interests are based on deep practical knowledge such as:
I am interested in Psychology(Carl jung, mbti), How I and other can achieve self actualization in life, Individuation journey, , self improvement, Meaning of life, neuroscience, Society, Metaperspective of our current state of culture and wellbeing and how it evolved to be. Generationology, Esoteric knowledge, Nutrition, Overall health, Nootropics, History, How to make money online and soon all about business too, How to quit addictions, all environmental toxins in our food and environment and how they affect our health, How videogames cause depression, Personality disorders and so on.
3 comments
I’m interested in many of those topics. Many people on Reddit are interested in many of those.
One issue is, with the way social etiquette has been established in society, these are not the topics of conversations that you’re supposed to start out with in person. They’re the types of things you’re supposed to work your way up to and talk about with good friends. The expectation is you start with small talk, i.e. how are you, what did you do this weekend/what are you doing this weekend, plans for the day/evening, favorite shows, favorite movies, favorite music, etc. And then you move up to spending time together outside of class or work, and then you start easing into deeper convos as you discover shared interests.
I don’t meet people who really seem to be into MBTI or psychology in general, neuroscience, supplements/nootropics, business, etc, whether online or in person. They might share one interest, but that’s it. And I don’t have the patience for the small talk, and I’m too introverted for feeling like getting together with people with whom I’ve only done small talk. Plus, everyone is sensitive/touchy nowadays, which makes me hesitant to discuss anything that’s “deep” or that can lead to arguing.
You’re also probably deeply informed about a lot of your interests, which will make people uncomfortable just because they’re not and that makes it hard for them to contribute to a conversation about them. Honestly, there are very few topics about which I’m deeply informed, and most people are not as knowledgeable about those topics and can’t hang in a conversation. I’ve tried to find music nerds on Reddit many times, and no one who has responded to me actually is one, I’d say, and I end up ghosting them. But they obviously are interested in the music I posted about, or else they wouldn’t have responded. They just end up not knowing or liking anywhere near as much as I do, and it makes those conversations less interesting and more difficult. Similarly, many people are interested in some of the topics you listed but probably don’t know as much as you do.
Why do you feel that way? Is this a preconceived notion or do people seem disinterested in what you’re saying? If it’s the latter, how are you delving into these topics? Do you start conversations off with these deep topics?
The vast majority of people don’t listen well under the best of circumstances let alone when they’re asked to pay attention to something that they may not already know anything about. The best way to talk about your interests with people who may not actually know anything about it is to form a joke.
An expert should always be able to explain ideas to layman, that’s the real mark of an expert.
Overall, you have to have conversations with people with a genuine interest in what they have to say. Asking them open and honest questions with genuine desire to listen to them. If they don’t share ANY of your interests, focus on enjoying their company while it lasts and then moving on. That will help you detach from needing the conversation to be more intellectually stimulating.
Besides that, for your particular interests you could always join the subreddits that discuss those interests and join organizations in your town that are particularly about those interests. It will be far easier to find people to talk to if you go where other people like you think.