Im sorry if this may be TMI, but I have a hard time talking about this with friends so yeah.. I’m a 24 year old woman who recently got married. I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 16. We were always friends and eventually dated after high school. We were together for 3 years when he proposed on our 3rd year anniversary. I obviously said yes and we got married this past winter. Lately, however, it’s like all my desires towards s*x went away. We didn’t wait till marriage and had been s*x quite often. But it’s like I just stopped wanting it. It’s been like this for almost 2 months. I will still be with my husband, and it’ll feel good, but I just don’t have any drive. He’s noticed and has asked me about it. He reassures me he doesn’t want to pressure or force me, but asks why I all of a sudden changed. I honestly don’t have a straight answer and I feel awful. I miss being how I used to be and wish I could just change it. I don’t know if anyone else has gone through this and how did you and your partner get through it.
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What’s changed in the last few months?
Birth control? Weight gain? New job?
New relationship energy went away. Very common. You need to learn to reconnect with him on a deeper level. And yes, if anything has changed physically or mentally, that could be a roadblock, too.
I would speak to your doctor, as there are hormonal imbalances or health issues that can make your libido change.
Also things like stress, mental health issues and life issues can affect your libido – has anything changed at home or work which has made you feel preoccupied or stressed?
Read the book, “Come as you are” by Emily Nagoski. It’s about female sexuality and desire. Read it with your husband. Good luck.
I think you may be taking him for granted
because once you got married you dont need to win him over anymore. you got him. this is very common. people lose attraction as soon as they get what they want
Do you both still flirt and enjoy each other’s company? I always say that the flirting should never stop- whether it’s been 1 year or 100!! Go out on some dates and rekindle that romance! What were some of the things you enjoyed doing at the beginning of the relationship? Remind each other why you fell in love!
See a doctor or endocrinologist specialist to check hormonal levels. Also, review current meds because some, such as antidepressants and statins, can impact your libido. If the physical part is okay, try to find a general therapist or sexual therapist to see if there is an underlying emotional/ mental issue.
Because you like the chase
Eros doesn’t live in safety or routine. If you scroll the posts you’ll probably see a pattern of the same thing happening. One side going dead soon after marriage. Try the book “Mating in Captivity” by Ester Perel. You’ll understand the first line of my post if you do 👍.