I was dating a woman for two months and it was going well enough but I noticed some slight communication issues from the start but figured it would get better. I had two of my best friends die tragically recently and Sat before this one she woke up in a weird mood and was giving me attitude and saying shit like “im spending all my time with my friends”, I had like 3 people come over and workout in my home gym with me over the course of the week because they were worried I would go on a drinking bender like I did when my other best friend died two years ago. 115 days sober but after that argument I just hung up and focused on myself. I’m always down to hangout and do shit if she asks. (she doesn’t I have to suggest everything)

Few days later she sends the bullshit “take care” text, I just liked the comment and went back to my own shit. She follows up with another “really, thats it?” dumb text a few days later. She was way out of line that day and didn’t even try to apologize and I’ve dealt toxic people before so I figured life’s too short for this shit and never responded.

TLDR When do you start arguing or whatever in relationships

12 comments
  1. >When do relationship arguments start generally?

    Usually when the wife/girlfriend opens her mouth.

    I haven’t heard of a closed mouth argument.

  2. Good for you for dropping her. She sure does sound like a treat. Toxic as they come.

  3. Bearing in mind that there are always three sides to every story, your side, their side, and the truth, from what you’ve said in this post I’m not sure you should take too much insight from your last relationship, it sounds like you two didn’t really *click,* and so any advice we could offer on your previous relationship may not be useful in your next one.

    That said, here’s the best I’ve got in the way of answering your question: There’s no “general” reason why relationship arguments start, every individual is different, likewise every relationship is different. We, as individuals, all have our own soft spots, and so the best advice I can offer is that you learn about your partner’s soft spots and try to avoid accidentally jabbing them, likewise if you feel like your partner is jabbing *your* soft spots, call them out on it. Being thoughtful and mindful, in the most literal senses of the words, can go a long way to staving off a fight.

    More important than forestalling the fight is how you proceed afterwards. Arguments can occur in even the healthiest of relationships, those are natural, it’s when you (or your partner) holds on to resentment that things start getting out of hand, in that regard arguments can be a good thing (sometimes), just getting everything out in the open. Don’t try to avoid the arguments, then you’re just sweeping stuff under the rug, it’s better to learn to argue in a healthy way.

    Every woman you date will be different, every relationship you have will be different, there are precious few universally hard and fast rules. Except putting the toilet seat down, that one’s definitely a universal.

  4. When I start stating boundrys or desires in the relationship. Happens everytime, Every girl is perfectly ok with everything as long as I provide everything in the relationship but the second I ask for anythin they don’t like they will fiercely defend there independence to the death of the relationship.

  5. People don’t reveal their true colors until 90 solid days in a relationship. Write that beezy in water

  6. >I noticed some slight communication issues from the start but figured it would get better.

    This is the first problem. There were issues, and instead of voicing that they were issues, you ignored it and ASSUMED she was also aware of the issues. She likely had no idea.

    >she woke up in a weird mood and was giving me attitude and saying shit like “im spending all my time with my friends”

    This is her doing exactly what you did. Instead of voicing whatever it was you were feeling, you both just acted passive aggressive with each other.

    Tbh, this whole thing could have been avoided if you were both a little more mature. It *shouldn’t* be all on you, but if you like someone, you have to take the initiative. You have to tell her “Hey, I always initiate. Do you like me at all? If so, why don’t you ever initiate?”

    She was still arguing with you. That means she still wanted to be with you. When a ~~woman~~ person wants to argue it’s because ~~she~~ they care~~s~~ and want~~s~~ to be understood. It’s when your partner is silent that it’s pretty much over.

  7. My girlfriend of six years and I have never once had an argument and I can’t imagine having one.

  8. When there is a communication breakdown and 1 or both are too proud to admit it.

  9. Thanks for the support, but I’m actually single by choice. It’s just me and my cat, Mr. Whiskers.

  10. When’s there at least one person with contempt. Or if one person is overly needy.

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