I [25/F] met this guy [27/M] in October. We started talking online but after two months and a half we met irl too. I vibed with him so well that it felt as if we’ve known each other for years. It was definitely a more “complicated” friendship because yes, we ended up having sex (multiple times) but that was ok. None of us had romantic feelings for one another and none of us wanted “more” from the friendship, we just shared a deep comfort and we craved intimacy very badly, so we thought it would be a good idea to satisfy that craving together since we were pretty close at that point. We never let our friendship become just sex, we did a lot of things together – we went out, tried new things together, watched movies, cooked, drove together, we really did spend quality time. Things went well up until March when I suddenly started to feel disconnected from him, in an almost dissociative kind of way. It was almost like a snap, I would look at him and not feel the closeness anymore and I noticed that the vibe was gone too. I tried very hard to “fix” things and we tried a few methods to help me feel close to him again, but ultimately it didn’t work. The dissociation only grew more, until I felt like I didn’t “know” him anymore. It was the weirdest, most traumatizing thing I’ve ever experienced because I had never gone from being 100% attached to someone to being 100% detached and distant in a matter of days. Every interaction with him became painful, to the point where I chose to cut ties with him. I feel so awful for abandoning him, especially since he was going through a really tough time, but I couldn’t cope anymore. I wake up thinking of him and going back, but I know that if I did that, things wouldn’t change. I’d still feel detached and distant and only make his suffering worse.
I don’t even know if this is a relationship issue or a mental health issue. The dynamics between us wasn’t an issue at all, as I said (I keep mentioning this because many people have pointed out that “maybe I wanted more” and that’s why I started to distance myself from him but that’s not how it was, I was 100% content with what we had). He was my closest friend for a while, and I really did care about him. But ultimately, the friendship just vanished into thin air and I had no control over it, and now I’m left confused and in pain because I don’t understand what happened. Has this happened to anyone? How did things turn out in the long run?
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**tl;dr**: I had a sudden, abrupt falling out with my closest friend and I don’t know what caused it. I am finding it really hard to move on without having an answer.
3 comments
I am sure If he was a true friend he understood you had to do what was best for you. Hopefully you wrote to him to explain what you expressed on here. Have you decided yet if you should let the relationship Stay stagnant or are you want to try to rekindle the relationship that would be the first step and then decide the best way to contact him/her and express that and don’t assume what the other person may or may not feel or think until
You here it from them alot
Of great relationship are severed because people assume what the other person might think of them when all your questions can be answered by Simpling asking them
We all have to make choices that might seem selfish but you have to do what’s best for your happiness I know I have lost contact with alot of people I love and care about not to sound corny but life get hard and it’s all you can do is hold on and weather the storm. Sounds Iike you have some soul searching to do try to decide what aligns with your future do you see this person in your life in the future If it’s been a while
It’s possible they might be in a relationship so the rekindling thing might not
Even be possible. I don’t know all the particular details of the why or how things ended but it kinda sounds like your nervous and afraid of what she/he might say if you do reach out but if you tight before you should know how to proceed. People don’t change who there core is yea we can change or style ,place we go , people
We hang with, were we live but deep down we are all still that jock, need, qeek, stoner ,class clown or who ever you was in high school we just have to hide that person from John Q Public or no one would give us a job or anything like that 😉 so I am sure if you called your friend and grovel for 5 minutes all will be forgiven unless you did something really fucked up. Then you have to ask yourself have they forgiven other people or
Do the hold grudges
If they do and if this is a guy and he Is single offer a Blowjob ,dinner and sex again let me know how things work out I have a question are you a good looking sorry just curious
I’m dealing with this right now but as the other party. Her and I met on a dating app and immerly vibed super well, felt like we’ve known each other for years. We dated for a few months then suddenly hours after she told me she loved me and missed me she told me she couldn’t be with me due to mental health and blocked me on social media.
I’m not gonna lie it hurt, a lot. I was so confused as to what I did to deserve that and I’m sure he is too. If your still thinking about it ina few months try to talk to him. The world isn’t always black and white, you can be confused and still talk to him, you don’t have to cut him out of your life. Good luck OP