I’m making this post because I don’t want to think I’m delusional or looking at things the wrong way.
I’ve been friends with this person for over a year now, we work at the same job. We regularly hangout with our little group and talk about work and stuff. But in the last couple of months, since February ish she doesn’t seem to care about me the same way as before.
She never initiates conversations with me, even when I do message her she rarely reads the message or even responds. She only ever seems to ask me for things like a lift to somewhere or a lift home since she doesn’t have a car. She’s overly nice in those messages too, but almost immediately forgets about it like a day later. There was a time as well where she wanted to go to a concert one afternoon, lied to her manager about it and left me all alone in the office that day. I knew and was cool with it as I thought that’s what friends do, I wanted her to go and have fun. But the moment I’m even one minute late coming back from a break she sends passive-aggressive messages to me asking where I am. Like, I let her go for an entire afternoon and leave just me in the office, but the moment I’m one minute late, that’s an issue?
Recently I was off work for 2 days being sick, I come in and she doesn’t say a single thing. Nothing about asking how I am or feeling. Nothing. She also goes out with her other friends and doesn’t even bother with any invitations.
Am I reading too much into this or is this a fake friend? Would like some opinions on this, thanks!
28 comments
Definitely a fake friend, cutt her off or confront her…
Any time you have to doubt if somebody is a friend and feel the need to come on here asking that question, then the answer is they aren’t your friend, and you are simply denying that reality. When people value and respect you, they make it abundantly clear to you via actions. The general principle is people make time and effort for whom they want to make time and effort for.
Real friends would never make you doubt whether they are real or fake. Trust your gut man, there’s plenty of great friends to be made
She either does not care about you, hence she is a fake friend. Or she just lacks the empathy and care to tear you differently, hence she is not a friend you would want to hang out with given that you seem to expect a nice and meaningful relationship from friendships.
She just sounds incredibly fake and selfish. Ask yourself if you want someone that would treat you so poorly in your life. You don’t deserve that at all. Let her hang out with her shallow friends and know that you are a much better person who cares about others. I’m sorry that you are going through this, and I hope it gets better for you.
She’s using you! Set boundaries
being a friend shouldn’t be a job
it is, but shouldn’t be
Sell her out and cover your back. She’s doing the same to you right now so she can look better around your manager, hence the passive aggressive tone in her messages when it’s not even her concern.
That person is an asshole. First person to ask for help and the last person to offer it. You deserve better. Ignore her. It will make her crazy, I’m almost certain.
Put as much effort as she does to you, if she gives you attitude then give the same energy back
Sorry to sound quite blunt but she sounds like a parasitic kind of friend one that acts the part of a nice friend most of the time and asks overly nice when she requires your help with stuff.
Bro trust me, i am going through something similar. In a work environment don’t get attached and expect from anyone. Treat them as your colleagues. After sometime you can easily identify who is going to be with you or not. The person who is showing too much interest in getting their work done from you is mostly the bad ones.
trust your gut, Op.
She definitely seems like a fake friend
That’s not a friend that’s a coworker and she isn’t interested in anything but herself.💯
She might have been a genuine friend in the past, but it sure sounds like she drifted off in that friendship. Maybe just ask her what she’s into now and perhaps decide from there. Or just find another friendship group of your own and let go of this one.
That person sounds like a leach. Throw that bitch to da birds ✌️
Well, Kevin must say, if she only talks to you when she needs something, and forgets about you shortly after, she’s either a gold digger or a memory loss patient. Either way, it doesn’t sound genuine to him.
If it looks like a duck
It must be a duck
I stopped talking to this “girl” because i feel she likes me and i dont like her like that So i figured why lead her on But also she brings out my nice self and i want nothing to do with him
I had someone whom I called my brother from another mother. Always pushing me to get better, insisted that I take money from him to pay off my debt, gifted my kid a month swimming lesson for his birthday, gave me his car when i didn’t had one and one fine day he got divorced cause he cheated on his wife with the swimming instructor which meant he lost most of the luxury he had while he was married. I supported however I could paid back the debt he offered me, gave my car for him to take his kid on trips 1000kms one side. He wanted the car again but this time I had an argument with my wife, I asked him to speak to my wife as during one of the argument she stated the car is in her name. This triggered a bad response from him, he was a family friend my wife knew him well. When he comes back from the trip he had the car paper with him and didn’t bother to tell me. I was driving without car papers only to meet with an accident when I realized the papers are with him. I had to go and pick it up. He forgot a bag in my car, he also told me that he would not speak with me anymore cause he was disappointed in me and I was a biggest failure. I told him come and get the bag….all hell broke loose, he reminded me of all the things he did, gave me money, paid for my kid swimming lesson,gave me his car,people told him not to be friends with me (I’m an immigrant) yet he chose to be friends, he even went on to say that my kid is cursed cause of mixed race. I realized the person who was brother from another mother was a piece of shit, he was with me cause that made him stand out from the rest, he thought I owed him somehow, we’ve blocked each other. I feel so better now cause I don’t have anyone bickering. Exactly like you said when I’m late it became a big deal, when he is late I wouldn’t say anything. He’d call me 2 am for help, I would go without giving any thoughts. I’d say cut this person off your life. Afterwards such people will find ways to blame you for the problem in their life and call you a failure for their actions. Sorry for rant but wanted you to know very rarely you’ll find true friends now. It’s all transactional. That too, they’d always want to receive after they give you something.
Wow, sounds like you’re working with a real gem. Maybe she’s just busy hanging out with her new best friend, herself.
Ha! Fake like those Gucci bags on Canal Street. Don’t trust anyone these days, honey.
Kevin: Well, considering she only asks you for rides and forgets about it a day later, I’d say she’s not your friend, she’s your Uber driver.
Maybe he’s just a real friend having a bad day. Don’t worry, I’m a fake internet friend, but I’m here for you.
Kevin: Well, sounds like you need a new ride or die. Or in this case, a ride AND die. Ba-dum-tss!
Kevin: Sounds like you’re her personal Uber driver with added bonus of being ignored. She’s more like a fake passenger.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but it sounds like you have a friend who’s faker than a pair of knock-off designer shoes.
No, this is a public transportation vehicle. But I can be your fake friend if you want!