As a woman, i’ve always been curious about the things that men are afraid to admit but actually pretty common

37 comments
  1. Erectile dysfunction.

    Younger men can experience it for a number of reasons. But as we get older, it’s more and more common. It’s a circulatory issue. Nothing to do with testosterone or masculinity. Just blood flow. And we would all do well to disassociate ourselves from that stigma.

  2. shame and vulnerability, as said above, but also during these times where masculinity is mixed up with toxic behavior(with nothing being distinguished in between) , men are being held (not all the time, but a lot) to a very high standard where their instincts are being challenged in the respect of being forward and direct in their way of speaking.

    also, men very much have a fear of being accused of something bad in regards to an interaction with a woman, amongst other things.

  3. Depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies.

    A lot of my friends know I attempted 3 years ago, but not a single soul knows I was going to attempt in February this year after a particularly bad run since September culminating in a pretty rough breakup. The only thing that saved me was running into a friend from a different department on the walk to the bridge I was gonna jump off. He ran into me on the way back from his lab, it was close to 1am, and when I told him about the breakup he invited me over to have some cheesecake bc its my favorite dessert. He has no idea he saved my life.

  4. I’m a sexuality coach for men, and let me tell you, there are A LOT of men out there who are struggling around performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or general sexual confidence issues. And most of them don’t tell anyone!

  5. I have Herpes. I found out not because I had an outbreak, but because I asked for the test when I got an STI screening. 11% of the people in the United States have HSV2. 48% have HSV1.

    For years I never had breakouts, and thought of it as a diagnosis on a piece of paper that never materialized. But then I got poison ivy, and subsequently aches and pains, and a dime size sore right down near my balls. I wanted it to be poison ivy, but I knew it wasn’t because the poison ivy was obvious much earlier.

    To this day, after knowing for 5 years, I’ve had three breakouts that lasted about a week each because I know how to aggressively attack them, thanks to Google and tea tree oil. Regardless, I feel dirty and disgusting and undesirable. Because of 3 weeks of this goddamn thing.

    I’ve only revealed this to a few people. I have made mistakes of getting into relationships without first informing them that I have herpes. It didn’t kill the relationship, she got tested and was negative, but the trust was broken and it doomed the relationship I believe.

    So now I’m in the place of not wanting to date because I just don’t want to tell anybody and be rejected because of it. I know I need to find some way to get over this in my head. Maybe find some nice herpe inflicted girl to settle down with. But for now I’m just focusing on the rest of my health and getting the best looking 46-year-old body that I can get. At least I’ll have that going for me. Which is nice.

  6. Suicidal and depressive thoughts. I’ve always been very quiet about this aspect of my life and sometimes it’s difficult to express myself.

  7. That I’m scared. I’m worried. I’m nervous. I just want to be held and told that I’m doing ok.

    Mostly that, but also the spider is creeping me out.

  8. Like most here say, shame and vulnerability. It hits hard and it feels like a giant wall that’s nearly impossible to get past and open up to someone about it.

  9. Getting their heart broken again. Most men get theirs broke around 16 and never let it happen again

  10. After taking a piss, when you sit down its quite common for you to feel some of the leftover pee flow through your penis to ur pants

  11. Sometimes my pee burns because I wash my dick with bodywash and the bodywash gets in my penis. Thats why i like soap more. Also sometimes my asshole or my balls cramp when i pee and it’s one of the worst feelings ever that make u wonder if u have cancer or something

  12. I’d say dealing with darker emotional aspects of myself as a grown man. I’m by no means an angry guy but I haven’t really made any attempt to face my poor control of my anger or sadness when I hit that point.

    I grew up in what you would probably consider an abusive household and I seen older men in my family use their anger and it scared me. It still does now seeing people my age use it but it scares me even more when I loose control.

    It’s a strange feeling because you hate yourself for going to that state but also part of you loves it because some people begin to fear what damage you could inflict. I remember losing my temper at a guy who would bully me at work last year and rather than deal with it on the spot I eventually exploded after months and the guy was so terrified of me he quit on the spot crying. Not going to lie I loved that feeling I felt like I had so much control over him despite me wishing I dealt with it earlier like a responsible and confident person.

  13. Being unsure and insecure. I mean, I’m not, but I’m sure others are. 👀

  14. Being ashamed.

    Shame has been my main issue all my life. I was constantly made to feel shame as a child, teenager, and as an adult. I probably could have gotten better sooner if some of the women in my life hadn’t weaponized shame against me by guilt-tripping, manipulation, put-downs, reputation destruction/gossip, etc, though I will say that’s probably because I’m straight and therefore end up being emotionally closer towards them in the first place.

    Naturally, I have some really strong and close friendships or familial ties with women who haven’t done that, so it’s not like I’m blaming the whole gender, but I’ve never had a guy friend do that shit. It’s just something I’ve noticed.

    Anyways, for a long time I wasn’t able to express this stuff to anyone, so I drank the shame away, until my drinking got so bad that by the end of any given night I was sobbing and ready to end my life. Thankfully I never did.

    Nowadays, I absolutely refuse to let those feelings direct my life anymore. I admit there will probably be days where I do something stupid and make a mistake and feel guilt at least, maybe be a little ashamed of myself, but I know that it can’t destroy me anymore, and that these feelings are normal when you’ve done something you regret. But I don’t want to feel it everyday, and now I don’t! It’s so liberating.

  15. The constant emotional violence of women against men, which cannot be talked about, otherwise it will become even more violence.

  16. Being told to “man up” makes things worse. I don’t know if it applies to anyone else or if it’s something most people know already but I felt like mentioning it anyway because there hasn’t been a time where I’ve felt vulnerable and depressed and haven’t been told to “man up”, it’s genuinely annoying.

  17. 1) Anxiety issues, especially when it comes to dating and performance in bed. 2) Depression because you don’t feel good enough about yourself after seeing others successful and leading happy lives. Men are conditioned by the society to be a Superman—provide for family and be problem solver. 3) Loneliness when friends are busy with their own lives and you are unable to make new friends as you grow older.

  18. That it’s very challenging to deal with the pressure of society’s view where the man is the main/only provider. If you admit that it scares the shit out of you and is taking a toll, you are often considered weak or less of a man.

    Also we don’t like to admit it, but it’s super hard to deal with the balance between being “a real man” and being the gentle, understanding, overbearing man. Ofc it depends on the partner but it can be quite hard to understand the woman you love sometimes. Even with communication.

    It’s also hard to admit that sometimes you just want be alone, jerk off instead of having sex. Not that it is cause of no attraction or a desire for other women. It’s just a guy thing. Not many women I have met, can come to terms or understand it. It’s not cause our partner lacks anything at all. It’s just a guy thing. With or without porn. It will happen.

  19. I can’t and won’t kill a cockroach for you. I just can’t. I’m going to run away screaming like a little kid.

  20. That a lot of men will never seek help for depression and/or suicidal thoughts/tendencies. A few other commenters have already mentioned it, but I don’t think people realize that there is a “pandemic” going on of men taking their own lives.

    I know of three I went to school with, my best friend has been suicidal and I have attempted it myself, but I couldn’t do it. I know how much it would hurt my son and my mom, so I won’t do it for now.

    I don’t blame anyone for how mens mental health is swiped under the rug, but it is a serious problem humanity needs to deal with. People deserve better.

  21. How lonely we are. We are invisible to most of society if we are single. And I’m not talking about just girls, but friendships even. I never talk to anyone about it because it’s not really a good look for us.

  22. Men who are not in the top 5% best looking guys basically live their entire life without compliments, or much attention, even if they are in a couple/family.

    It’s extremely hard and makes most of us carving for positive attention. A word, a smile, the smallest gift, can make us feel completely different.

    I was camping with friends once and one female friend of mine came to me with a cup of coffee in the morning, saying « hey I know you drink coffee, I thought you’d want this ».
    This little thing resulted in me crying just because of the unusual attention.

    It’s super hard

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